what lily say

ladadadeyda lala

2012-01-23T08:58:00.004+08:00

ps: it may be funny. it may be corny/lame. and perhaps geli? but i got it from someone and i'm not complaining

just chill

2012-01-23T08:19:00.008+08:00

with the coming of 2012 comes greater responsibilities which in other words means more workload, crazier time limits etc etc. seriously i'm not the only one facing this. and i'm not sure whether i like it or not. yes i like it coz it appears the management have put more trust in me which still makes me wonder but then the workload that should've been for a senior is put on my weak shoulders which is making me stagger even at the start of the year. hmm..the thing is my firm is really lacking on the senior audit staffs hence us the (semi) weaklings are pressed to do a senior's work which is not fair for us since we are paid lower. yes there was a salary increment but still doesn't compensate what we are expected to achieve. and yet i'm still swimming (more like drowning) in the firm. but fret not i'm still happy :) but please check on me in say 2 months time? heh

at least now i have my personal reminder and organic alarm clock. ngeh2 it's an inside joke that only i understand which makes no sense when i'm sharing it in here. watever. i think i've become sloppier each day and i no more care what i look like hence the sloppy image. i don't know. i guess when you're too sleepy/tired you don't really care how the world goes on as long as the day finishes off quickly so that you can crawl back to your bed without dreaming. man i don't know when was the last time i had a dream. each time i would doze off to sleep less than a minute and wake up suddenly realizing i missed the midnight work shift. then i'll go cursing under the breath coz i forgot to set the alarm or i didn't hear the alarm. i think if this routine goes on i can easily get a heart attack. oh wait have i mentioned this before? annnd to top things up i'm getting rounder at the tummy. to think that i usually reach home and head straight to bed without considering my dinner almost err the whole week days? hmm

i seriously need a vacation. oh wait i just had one last december but that doesn't count. but i did enjoy universal studios!! next target: disneyland oh wait that's suppose to be my dream honeymoon destination. ngeh ngeh. anyways i can't wait for this may trip. 4 more months baby! but in that 4 months i'm not sure whether i would still be in the firm. i've been contemplating to leave for at least once a week. heh.. that bad eyh

i hope everybody is having a blast enjoying this long weekend. i especially enjoyed our balek kampong trip where i managed to stuff my tummy with durians :) happy. oh gosh i miss my mom's cooking. i can count on how many times i had a proper meal since last november. but at least eldest sis is really making an effort. she should get married and have babies coz she has all the qualities (not like somebody i know ie me). heh

luckily so far i've been getting nice clients. well i don't know whether they talk behind my back or not but so far all of them have been treating me nicely. i think it really helps if you think positively about people. there was once when i had a bitchy/mood swing kakak but then after a while i just followed her pace and we got along quite well after that. she even cracked jokes with me but at the time i wasn't sure about her intention since she was bitchy before that but then i just laughed it off as usual ( i usually do that even if a joke is not funny or when i don't understand a joke). hmm

oh i forgot to say since it's the long holiday and all people would look forward to spend the days by making plans and whatnots but not yours truly. i'm still stuck with work coz i need to meet the deadline by this wednesday. well actually it's supposed to be last friday but dc (my audit principal) was kind enough to let me have till next friday. however since i'll be going to a new client next thursday so there goes my 2 extra days. hmm

i truly am

2012-01-01T07:54:00.010+08:00

I think last year has thought me a lot. a few days ago i stumbled upon a question: if you could sum up your 2011 what would it be? and so far i only have 1 word which is new. i think have encountered a lot of new experiences, new feelings that i didn't know i could feel and new perspective about life. and in that journey i met new people of different sort of characters that most of the time amused me rather than irritated me.

and of course with the upcoming year there would be new year resolutions. as usual for me, it would be to be a better person than i was in the previous year. this year i'd like to add another one which is to be happier. don't ask me in what sense because it is so general it covers everything. but i'd like to ensure that i'm always happy and avoid all the unhappy things. i think i've had enough grief to last me awhile.

when it's the end of the year it also means stock counts for most companies which means we are also on duty. and so for this past few days (including yesterday) i've been going to different types of factories to make my observation. yes it can be tiring and sometimes boring but other than that i don't mind gaining the experience. so far i think it's fun to get to meet different people who i doubt i would meet if not because of all the stock takes i attended. speaking of which i still have another one this tuesday. but ask me again next year just to be sure whether i would still feel the same about this eyh?

ooh i forgot to mention that like 2010, people questioned my age during the stock counts. but the difference with 2011 is i embraced the question gracefully and admitted my actual age. maturity perhaps?

ps: somebody popped up the question. i'm happier now. i truly am

END

the cherry on top

2011-12-26T08:49:00.008+08:00

so i went out to meet a friend last saturday just to hang out and to have fun. but everything went wrong from the very beginning till the end. must've been one of the worst day of my life.

first i was late to meet my gf and so i decided to park at the nearest ktm just to avoid the traffic congestion since it's the long weekend and all. and i did remind myself to bring the touch and go since i wanted to avoid the long queue but alas i still forgot to bring.

and since i was late i promised my gf to treat her lunch. so upon reaching our meeting point i headed for the atm to withdraw. however while queueing i suddenly realised that i left the atm card in my other bag (i switched to a different bag that morning) and i only had 2 ringgit in my purse (a few ringgits were used for the ktm and lrt fare previously and luckily i had enough money) so in the end my gf had to spend for both of us T.T

later that day i wanted to buy a gps since i was bound to need one (all this while i've been borrowing my brother's iphone) but since i have 3 stock takes this coming week i don't want to bother him much. so since i don't have cash i had no choice but to swipe the card and bear the bank charges which i could've avoid if only i brought that damn atm card.

ooh before that, i forgot to mention that the battery of my cellphone went kaput. and later after getting myself a gps and my gf a printer we went to find her anklet in which we ended up getting lost trying to find the parking since we thought wrong on which level she parked. and so we were circling the whole complex just to find that darn parking and bear in mind we were lugging my gf's bulky printer all the way so things were harder. to top it off i was wearing mom's crocs which gave me blisters at all the right places. heh

at the end of the day my gf sent me straight to the ktm since it was late already (because of us getting lost). i thought everything was fine and was driving happily heading to home when boom!! a car came out suddenly from the junction and hit me on the front right hand side. oh man i was so shocked i was trembling. actually the hit wasn't that hard coz both of us were slow and it was near the traffic light but since it was my first accident hence i was shaking. luckily there was this dude on motorbike who saw everything (he became my witness at the police station) and asked his friend (he was on his way to go to a mamak where i stopped my car to check the damage) to call the tow truck. and they lent me their phones to call my brother. imagine i was phoneless and moneyless at that point of time and had no clue how to deal with the situation. luckily i befriended all the guys who came helping and one of them sent me to the police station to file a report.

at the police station the girl who hit me have filed hers and was saying that i was the one who hit her (the nerve) so there was a sergeant who wanted to see both of our cars to determine who was wrong and who had to bear the costs. and of course i was innocent. amy (the guy from the workshop) said it was obvious who was at fault just by looking at the damages but that girl was so convincing ( i heard her complain to the sergeant) that made me have second thought that perhaps i was also wrong. so to cut things short my car was sent to the workshop the very next day and the quickest i can get it is a week later. isn't it ironic that i have a gps to go to my clients' place but not the car? ooh and i reached home that night at about 1 am means that i celebrated christmas at the police station. a cherry on top eyh?

trend analysis

2011-11-30T19:22:00.010+08:00

in audit we study how to conduct trend analysis which is in layman's term can be referred as comparing from one end to another and analyzing the variance whether it is reasonable or not. this is part of analytical procedures ladies and gentlemen and no i'm not showing off what little knowledge on auditing that i have although i must quote in accordance with ISA 520 analytical procedures blah blah blah (okay that 1 can be considered as gloating since i've read that 1 last week ;p)

and as auditors we must comply to the standards hence doing trend analysis have become a practice ever since. anyways since i'm soo used to doing so i think that i tend to conduct one between you and you subconsciously. i've tried to avoid it but it comes naturally i couldn't help it. and i know that it's not fair to you and i'm sorry and i know how i would feel if someone would ever compare me with someone else and so i am truly sorry from the bottomless pit of my heart. heh

ps: keep on humming the same tune since morning. aaah bliss

hooked

2011-11-28T18:29:00.003+08:00

well hello there!how do you do? i am finally making some time to post something here. been really busy plus lazy to do anything. work have been shitty as always but i think i'm growing fond of it each day. have i mentioned this before?and so i've decided to put on hold on my resignation till i don't know when. but please be assured i am still planning to leave the firm. i have bigger plans baby!anyways i think i'm going to enroll in yoga class pretty soon. not sure yet but i attended the trial class and i enjoyed it to bits. i've been wanting to join one before and when i heard there's an instructor who is willing to give classes in our very own office i jumped to the opportunity. but then again there's the money constraint, as usual. this thing have always been my number one enemy. oh well what the hell. c'est la vie

ooh have i mentioned that my exam is around the corner?i'm seating P7 for the umpteenth time ladies and gentlemen. and the exam day is exactly one week from now. heh.

the parents have left the country last saturday and won't be back till next september. oh gosh i miss them already. well the most that i miss would be ibu's cooking. gosh i sound like a selfish brat but what the heck.

aaaand (drum roll please) i think i've stumbled into someone. tee hee. someone who makes me see things differently from an angle i never knew existed. and this person makes me become a better person, i think. so i'm officially in cloud 9. ask the people around if you don't believe me =)

can't wait!

2011-10-23T10:03:00.002+08:00

the magic stone

2011-10-22T17:46:00.008+08:00

Aria was walking alone in the woods one evening when she stumbled upon it. it was the prettiest thing she has ever laid eyes on and it looked interesting placed underneath the shed of a big wild mushroom. it was as if somebody purposely laid it down there so it wouldn't get wet. its surface was a bit rough but she knew with much effort she could make it shine beautifully. hurriedly she picked it up, put it safely in her left pocket and ran back home.

now Aria is a lonely girl. she doesn't have anybody to talk to. but this does not mean that she has no friends and family. it is just that she knows that they don't understand her. usually she would pretend to be somebody that the rest of the world expect her to be. but sometimes it could be tiring and she just needs somebody who she can just be herself. so since she found the stone she has been pouring her heart out but of course the stone remained silent. and every night before she goes to sleep she would kiss the stone and placed it under her pillow.

ever since Aria found the stone her days are happier. as if most of her burden has been lifted. strangely at night she feels like the stone would communicate with her in her dreams and she would then decipher them the next morning. she feels strongly for the stone and yet she doesn't know whether this situation could go on forever.

Aria gets confused either to shine the stone to make it look prettier or to leave it be. she is afraid that after so much effort put on it that one day she would lose it just like any other stuffs that she had once owned. she wished she could throw it out at the nearest lake just to see how far it would go so that she could prepare herself when she loses it but alas she couldn't. so for the time being she is just enjoying the moment.

Aria is happy now but she doesn't know until when and she couldn't help but wonder.

after five

2011-10-22T15:43:00.011+08:00

a lot has happened during the long hiatus i think my schedule have been packed right after the hari raya what more with the endless files i'm still on but i think i still managed to have quite a normal social life so far but that also means that i have no time to post anything since the remaining time i have would be filled with sleeping/resting.

anyways i have 6 files in hand not including the 2 companies which i have just cleared this recent week. so the other day when my manager asked about the status of one of my files, i suddenly burst out where i talked non stop about what i'm going through and little did i know that one of my principal was standing right behind me. tee hee..and so they decided to give me 8 days to settle all those 6 files (cross fingers) coz my outburst kind of scared them a bit i think. and since then the people starts calling me cili padi. whatever

ooh i went to the above last week and it was entertaining. i like the props but then again i don't really think the male population would really enjoy the show as it is the girly wurly type. heh

ooh and i also managed to go to the big bad wolf book sale and managed to grab 15 books for rm8 each. and although i'm a little tight on the budget this month (actually not just for this month) i really couldn't let go the opportunity cost because this expenditure can save me for a year (considering how slow i read) or maybe more. heh

on the 2nd day while waiting for my sister. i went there for 2 days in a row at then end of the sale so there weren't as much choices as before according to sis

and then today i went to yet another friend's wedding. oh gosh. i still have 4 more to go till november.

from ear to ear

2011-09-19T01:31:00.005+08:00

whenever i hear this song it reminds me of 2002 ie high school..i've always wished to have JUST one day to go back to high school so i could relive all the bittersweet memories..if only

the rock star

2011-09-09T01:29:00.007+08:00

i used to imagine myself having a rock star as a partner. wouldn't it be cool? you know the tall, dark and handsome with husky/gruff voice who could sing and play music for you. i think it's every girl's fantasy, no? but then as i grow older i realized that this type of men are not really partner/boyfriend material.

so recently 'i think' i became closer to a person whom i think fits the definition of a rock star. well he doesn't have his own band or anything and he doesn't fit the description: tall, dark and handsome (he reminds me of dave grohl of foo fighters) but he is sort of a musician and of course he plays instruments and has 'the' voice. i don't know about other people but to me, he is a rock star. heh. i'm surprised that i have the opportunity to know such person. and apparently we have a few things in common. surprise surprise.

so the old me starts to imagine what it would be like to be with a rock star. then again the wiser me keeps telling it would never work as he is in fact a rock star.

the in thing

2011-09-02T09:20:00.005+08:00

1. nowadays the kids wish birthdays with just a HB

2. nowadays pasar ramadhan is called param in which i think sounds like one of those rempit terms

3. nowadays people are more excited in taking pictures rather than the actual event and gloat to everyone else eg the raya pictures

4. nowadays people are nosier, they like to know what you do, where you are and what you are thinking. in fact people don't mind in sharing this type of information. but then sometimes it is just too much information eg your marital problems?

5. nowadays the kids aren't respectful to the elders as they used to . they think that if they are right, they have the right to stand up for themselves. but they don't realize that when they do that, they are hurting them. it's not about what's right, sometimes it is just about not hurting their feelings. winning is not everything.

6. nowadays people use lesser please and thank you and sometimes it is not the kids' fault as their parents never taught them how to use them.

7. nowadays unmarried couples behave like married couples and everybody around them behave like it is normal and there is nothing wrong with that fact. they like to use the excuse; we are ultra modern people. yeah right.

8. nowadays more people tend to suck up to their superiors just to get what they want and it is revolting. the capable ones tend to be overlooked.

9. nowadays people like to gloat/brag about stuffs and feel proud about it. they will use the excuse, i'm just being blunt/honest but sometimes it's just being annoying.

10. nowadays everyone has his/her own little opinion and wants everybody to listen to him/her. if that's the case, then who would listen? these people forget that sometimes people make mistakes and that does not exclude them.

FIN

midnight post

2011-09-02T00:41:00.005+08:00

1. it is almost 1 am yet everybody is still watching the indo channel. the funny thing is, this episode is a rerun from this afternoon in which they too have watched from the beginning till the end. since we added this indo package it has been indo dramas/movies 24/7, till i feel that i can speak their language quite well.

2. i'm hungry but too lazy to eat anything. but then whenever it is hari raya, we will never have proper meals like the usual. if you're hungry, just get yourself a ketupat/lemang with the rendang, or just eat all the kuih raya in which *cough cough have been nicely arranged inside the canisters by yours truly.

3. i noticed that the younger generation in this i meant my juniors are more trendy than myself. their raya outfits are way much prettier than mine and more up to date. man i feel so old.

4. somebody wants to meet me but i'm not sure whether i want to or not. i can give a million excuses but so far all of them are true. in fact, i don't think i care whether we get to meet or not. but then it would still be nice..

ps: i notice that i tend to post a video for each post. don't know why

tomorrow

2011-08-29T21:33:00.007+08:00

there's a mixture of feelings as the day gets closer. one minute she is excited and another minute she feels sad. this is the first time after so long. but then again, there is always a first to everything. all the memories suddenly keep rushing back uninvited. she wonders why she still has this feeling and tries to brush it off but to no avail.

she wanted to tell somebody but she couldn't. she no longer wants to burden anyone else. all she feels now is loneliness. she tries to be happy for tomorrow and is still trying. but the feeling is so overwhelming that she finds herself close to tears every few minutes. she knows that what she is facing at the moment is nothing compared to what the others may face, she keeps telling that to herself but her heart just won't listen.

sometimes she feels hurt by the others but nothing can compare to this, which actually what makes her stronger. there was once when somebody asked her how she feels like to achieve what she had achieved so far, and her answer was: sad. sad that everything turned out differently. sad that when she finally achieved something, nobody was there to be proud of her.

c'est la vie

after dawn

2011-08-28T06:44:00.011+08:00

raya is just around the corner and i must say that my spirit for the hari raya is a lil bit more that the usual,even if i have lesser things now. heh. i'm still wondering the reason but that's the fact. i think i've put more effort to be nicer for this ramadhan than ever before, still i don't know why. maturity perhaps? this is because i've encountered with several events during the month which i think kinda upset/hurt me but like what my friend A said, be a better person. it doesn't mean that a person treated you badly, you should return the favor. plus every time when i feel like criticizing somebody (dalam hati jela), i'd stop myself from going further. clap clap. that's an achievement for me. let's just hope that this practice will continue even after the ramadhan.

next month marks as a year of slavery for me at the firm. honestly i can't wait to leave the firm. not because i cannot stand the workload but because of the management. i seriously think that we are all being overutilized without getting the proper compensation. i keep telling the rest and they agreed but that's just about that. nobody made any attempt to leave the firm. well then i promised myself that this situation is not going on forever for me, but then i'll have to wait after december. just because.

other than that, my life is still the same. stagnant. still always broke. the phrase kais pagi makan pagi, kais petang makan petang suits me very well. but then i know, we should always be thankful to God for all the rezeki he has given us (see? sign of maturity much?). unfortunately it is not my rezeki to graduate this time around, and i wonder when but i always tell myself and my closed friends, belum ade rezeki lah tu. hmm

oops before i forget, SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI!! MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN

forgive and forget people. forgive and forget..

ps: i think it's lame when you joke about the BATIN part..

the porridge

2011-08-06T15:25:00.005+08:00

she woke up to see two bowls of porridge. both looked tempting and steamy hot, perfect for the cold weather outside. each was placed neatly on a table mat with a big spoon on the right hand side. without hesitating, she took a spoonful each.

one tasted very sweet and creamy. a familiar taste that she remembered she once had during her childhood. she knows that she can bear with the taste and is able to finish the bowl within a few minutes.

another one tasted differently. it was sour but spicy with a tinge of sweetness. it was something foreign for her taste bud but she liked it. it has an interesting taste and made her tingled inside out. however she isn't sure whether she could bear with the taste and able to finish the whole bowl.

she knew now that once she has made her decision, there is no turning back. both can make her full and warm her body yet both have very distinct taste. she has to choose now. the clock on the wall is ticking.

tick tock

sunny days ahead

2011-08-06T09:24:00.010+08:00

so how is the 6th day going on? i only managed to do half of it. tsk tsk

i'm practically walking on sunshine since last thursday. wanna know why? coz i finally managed to release all my december year end accounts. while the others still have ongoing assignments to work on, i was actually doing charity work yesterday to help out. you see all this while my assignments were for the december year end, and i must admit i went a little crazy trying to juggle everything up to make sure everybody is happy. glad that everything is over. i've been thinking about work and didn't have enough sleep since last june. but then fret not, i'll be starting new assignment next week and so the cycle goes on. well at least i won't have the same year end all the way through.

last night we had a little gathering to celebrate the end of our peak period. honestly, i think it was a good attempt though i didn't manage to stuff myself with as much food as i expected. of course the guys had to play basketball first before they decided to start barbecuing. and of course i had to leave the party early.

actually an incident happened which traumatized me a bit. heh. a few weeks ago was our company's annual dinner. to tell you the truth i've never actually mingled with drunk people before, and one guy almost kissed me. the fact that he isn't err handsome didn't help either. no wonder he was a little tipsy when i talked to him. and the next day it was all over the office that the guy passed out drunk and vomited at the sidewalk. and he had the nerve to deny it when some of the office people saw him lying on the sidewalk. dumb ass.

iklan:

somebody tweeted this just now,

Women who think their vagina is the most powerful thing in the world haven't met my ass yet.

he's my schoolmate btw. tsk tsk

ooh i forgot to mention, there's this new girl in the consulting department. who looks like that bitch. and because of this, i dislike her. tee hee. jahat kan. but then that girl is also the bitchy type so i think it's fair. she was actually flirting with the guy who looks like clark kent (which also happens to be my latest crush ;)) at our annual dinner.

although i've been busy, i still managed to juggle some things like going to kuching and to the concert. seriously i think i'm too old for concerts. actually i told the same thing to myself too at the previous concert that i attended. but then it was actually worth it since i got to hang out with my girlfriends.

oh so glamorous

2011-07-09T21:33:00.004+08:00

so the theme of our annual dinner have been changed to 'glamorous night'. honestly i'd rather stick to the old one, which involves a lot of costumes from the movies they listed to us. seriously, even if it means renting some costume at least that's achievable. but glamorous? that's a bit tough considering i'm not glamorous at all. aaaand the fact that it is after office hours, and on a monday makes most of us in no mood of getting in our so called glamorous outfits. well i think only my department thinks so since in case you haven't noticed, is the most boring department in the company.

moving on..

i have 6 accounts to be released this month. so things are a little crazy in office. i think it's the same with the rest of us. everyday me and my new neighbor offer each other to kill ourselves just cause. everyday i have to handle with at least 4 clients with different demands. one client even made a fuss since she overpaid her employees. so i asked her is the amount material? and guess what? it involved only 3 freaking cents. pfft.

can't wait for next weekend's getaway. ibu said i've been going all over places for my friends' wedding. she said therefore they'd better come to mine in the future (dear friends are you guys reading this? take note ah).

i'm seriously broke. and its only the second week of the month. my salary goes off to pay for all my debts. hutang keliling pinggang okay. don't know why. and i didn't actually make a splurge although everywhere i go i see the word SALE. it's that bad.

so okay enough ranting for now. am going to continue with my work now. *joyride

ps: can't believe people actually sent death threats to this 14 year old kid. i mean, sure she's annoying and all but chill la

pps: there's this one gay friend who keeps on tweeting gay-ish tweets. it's sickening yet i still am one of his follower. heh

3 things

2011-07-03T01:40:00.005+08:00

if you'd ask me 3 things i look for in a partner;

1. someone who would wait for me
2.
3.

if someone could sing this song to me and really meant it, i'd be the happiest being alive.

END

coz i'm way better than you

2011-06-26T22:09:00.005+08:00

thanks to my colleague, A, who taught me a valuable lesson. although people treat you badly/shitty-ly, taking revenge is not the only option. it is because you are better than that person. am taking baby steps to apply this though ;)

my butt aches from this morning's event. all i can say is, i think i did not too bad considering the last time i jogged was last month and the fact that this is my first attempt. anyways to tell you the truth the whole body is aching but of course am not going to show it to my other colleagues since they all thought that i did great without much effort.heh. and so i'm just going to stand up straight even though my back hurts. well what do you expect when you ran while carrying a bag with a can of Livita (still undrank)? silly i know but please know that i was not the only one, i think all of us were first timers. heh

blizzard

2011-06-19T22:47:00.009+08:00

she stared glumly as everybody passed by. she's trapped in her own world and there's no exit. all of them seemed happy, each with their own partner. some holding hands, some laughing together to a joke that she wish she had known. she felt lonely at that moment, because she knows nobody is waiting for her. as far as she knows everyone has someone waiting for or to be waited for.

perhaps things would be much easier if she has friends to talk to. but sadly all of them had lead their own lives which never crossed her path ever since she left home. she longed for someone who she could make the simplest conversation with, about the weather perhaps or even about the little children passing by. that would surely make her happy.

she had almost forgotten how she was before she left home. she was quite a chatterbox, everyone would get very excited when she wakes up, because she would come up with interesting stories that would fill up their days and sometimes give everybody hopes and dreams that they would have never imagined if it was not because of her. sigh. those were the days. those were the days when people appreciated her and admired her. today, nobody seemed to notice her existence.

the only thing that excites her now is when somebody shakes her. shakes her real hard. she likes it when it snows because that's the only time she could let herself cry. to the world, she appears to be a happy being, smiling sweetly regardless what the situation may be. but deep inside she is always crying. missing her memories. she tries to reach out every now and then and fails each time. guess she needs to learn to accept the fact that she will always be alone and will always remain as the girl in the snow globe.

sleep tight!

2011-06-13T00:10:00.004+08:00

ps: wish i could play this song on the piano. too bad i decided to ditch the piano lesson when i was a kid.

the 7 o'clock train

2011-06-12T22:24:00.009+08:00

she looked up and their eyes met. she quickly looked down again. this is the third time now. she doesn't know how to act. she pretended like she couldn't feel those pair of eyes burning on her. she wanted to act normal, but knowing the fact made it difficult to resist the urge to make eye contact. okay now it's the fourth time.

she accidentally bumped him when she was rushing to catch the train. she's always on the run by the way. he had his bemused look when he saw her. and that was how it all started.

as she reached her station she made one last glance at him and walked away. they both know that they would never see each other again unless they were destined to.

the burning desire

2011-06-04T15:39:00.003+08:00

semangat dah cukup
azam dah cukup
perancangan dah cukup

study?

last time before starting her class, my 2.1 lecturer always ask the whole class, do you have the burning desire to pass your ACCA? well this happened 4 years ago. go figure.

why am i still here?

2011-06-03T18:18:00.007+08:00

i woke up today realising that there's only 3 days left before my final exam. yup this auditor still can't pass her audit paper. funny isn't it?

anyways the reason why i'm blogging at this moment when i know well enough that i should be glued to my books is because i'm waiting for my colleague to pass me the review points for the file that i sent last tuesday. he's following it up for me but i still need to coordinate some things to him. so yeah. dedicated you say? not at all. i'm just doing this so that they won't say that i'm a lazy bump (even if i know that that's true) because i have a feeling that some of them already think that i am. well sod it off. i'll think about that some other day.

now where's that damn email? anyways i really don't know how to feel about this coming paper. i can't say that i'm nervous since i'm taking this paper for the upteenth time. i just want to get over with it and i mean literally.

it's really frustrating when somebody bugs you about work when you're on leave. especially when it's your study leave. and especially when you thought that you'd escaped from your shitty work for just a second. i seriously can't wait to leave the company. when i told people that i'm planning to leave (i think i told quite a bunch) most of them were shocked since in their mind i seemed to be enjoying myself. well all i can say is that i'm a complex person. i may seem simple but are you really sure about that? heh. i don't know. whatevs. by the way that's my current favorite word. WHATEVS.

so okay. enough ranting. chop chop. got to continue studying. btw i think one of the principal hates me. and i mean literally. well to be fair, the feeling is mutual. i somehow think that he's a little racist though i seem to be the only one who sees that. i don't know. but i have a hunch that it's true. and because i am what i am, he always underestimate me. treats me like a moron. but the thing that really pisses me is that i didn't make an effort to prove him wrong. well actually i tried but so far to no avail. he always has something on me. damn. another good reason to leave.

please please please let this be the last time for me to enter the hall. i'm tired of being stuck in second gear.

lepas ni serius nak belajar

2011-05-22T15:55:00.002+08:00

been in the playlist for so long when suddenly it clicked to me, hey there's a connection!

me, myself and i

2011-05-22T00:41:00.007+08:00

a friend once told me that i think too much. which surprised me since i know very well that i'm a lazy bum and am so lazy that i sometimes feel lazy to think. heck i'm even lazy to eat/chew anything (at times). at which some people find it weird. hurm

moving on..every now and then i'd ask to myself, what would the younger me think about me? if by any chance she could travel time to meet me, would she be proud of me? would she be surprised? is it in a good way or the other? am i what she expected me to be?

i'm sure all her expectations would be in vain but then is there a chance that whatever i am today might make her feel proud of me? if the younger me ever saw me, would she have the feeling that she couldn't wait to become me?

looking back through the years i've grown i think i've changed. heck i've changed a lot more/faster these past few months. and i'm thinking that these changes are more on the bad side rather than the opposite. i know this for a fact but i'm too lazy to think what i should do to resolve this. the only time i'm excited to think is when i'm doing audit (ceyceycey) and in the exam hall. which reminds me i'm suppose to study but all of the sudden i have the urge/idea to write this post.

when i was young i wanted to be a lot of things. i wanted to be a painter, journalist/writer, actor, singer,photographer. guess you can tell how fickle i was. then later dad brainwashed me into becoming a doctor when i told him i wanted to be a singer. so it was doctor for me for most of my teen years. then came ally and i wanted to become a lawyer instead. of course if you had told the younger me what i'll be doing now she'll be crushed to pieces since it's the last thing on her mind. in fact i'm not really sure if the younger me would even know what audit is. because as far as i can remember the younger me doesn't even know what debit credit means let alone what assets and liabilities are. heh

i just hope that the older me would somehow not be disappointed in me. i hope that when the old me comes to visit me, she'll smile a sincere smile and tell me that everything is going to be alright.

now the question is, what would i think if i ever meet the old me? would i feel the same as what the younger me does? hurm..guess i'll just have to wait and see for myself

END

humour me

2011-05-21T22:23:00.005+08:00

it's funny that it has been 5 months yet i'm still stuck in second gear

it's funny that i keep having the same question even when i know that i will never get the answer
it's funny that whenever i'm about to do something stupid, i'll remember those advices
it's funny that even the slightest thing can trigger the fuse..speaking of which, the word 'trigger' also triggers
it's funny that all the waiting had come in vain
it's funny that i am even writing this

obviously i don't have anything better to do

2011-05-15T07:38:00.004+08:00

good morning!!

i think this is the first time i'm up this early on a weekend for no reason (well actually i'm suppose to wake up at 3 to study but that's another story). usually even if i 'accidently' woke up at this hour i'll force myself to continue sleeping. heh.

how's life treating you? mine is okay i guess. went out with the girlfriends yesterday (i had fun by the way).

emm what else? o yeah my car arrived last friday. so yeah. starting on next month i'll have to re-think whenever i'm tempted to make a sudden splurge. i like to make them coz that's the only time i'll be spontaneous. tsk tsk. but its okay. this is all for a good cause. another strong reason why i should pass this ACCA thing.

and i've made some observations all this while. just for fun. one of it is how many single female auditors are in the company. and so far the ones who have a boyfriend have left leaving 2 more. but the other one has sent the letter (my place is strategically placed facing all the 3 principles so i happen to know a lot of things). so prove me if i'm wrong. heh

the exam is just around the corner, close to 1 month but of course yours truly haven't started her studying apart from the revision class which she constantly fell asleep during the lectures. in defense the classes were after office hours so after doing audit the brain had to receive auditing knowledge which is just too much.

was doing audit with a vegan for 2 weeks. honestly this is the first time i hang out with a vegan other than my own dad. i must say to become one, you must be strong willed coz i know i don't have the strength to defy the temptation of food. i asked her whether she missed all the good food but she say she loves animals more so she doesn't have the heart to eat them. i plan to become a vegetarian during the weekdays, for health reason but i'm not sure when. seeing how difficult my friend had to face to find her food made me think again. but then again i'll definitely try some day. but of course not in the near future ;p.

bird's eye view

2011-05-08T23:04:00.006+08:00

a few weeks ago a friend told me i sounded wise. in other words old. because i told him that life is ironic. don't you think so? i've heard people mentioning about this fact before but i never really believed in it until now.

*****************************************************************
at this moment she is still building her own footpath. still searching and selecting the right pebbles to be put on to make the pathway. in other words still under construction. while others might be trotting along happily (perhaps with a partner alongside) on their completed footpath, she is still struggling hard. some people built their path easily but she does not fall within that category. she had a few plans for when the footpath is completed. honestly they still exist. but the irony is that she had visioned it differently. and she was wrong. how ironic it is that when everything have started to fall into places, she lost the companion that she thought would walk beside her on her nearly completed footpath. how sad it is that it ended that way.

so anyways she recently accomplished another one from her checklist before she could stroll happily down her footpath. but as mentioned earlier, she has no companion to take the stroll with. hoping that someday somebody would pass by and either help her continue building the path or accompany her to have a stroll along the long winding path ahead until evening comes.

END

can you tell?

2011-04-25T00:00:00.004+08:00

looks like i would have to wait a little while longer

i'm old

the evil in me

2011-04-03T22:02:00.002+08:00

so a little bird (not that it is a trustworthy one but that's another story) told me that you're getting engaged next month and getting married next year. i wanted to say that i'm happy for you but lets face it, who am i kidding, eyh? i hope you'll regret this and rot in hell.

END

ooh look what i found!

2011-04-02T18:16:00.001+08:00

Your alarm rings, signalling another brand new day. You get up, looking

forward for another new day of challenge, another new day to learn.

After washing up, you put on your office outfit, giving you that

professional look, one that you believe many out there envy. Breakfast

follows (perhaps), and you head off to your office. You're one of the

earliest to arrive, ahead of all your superior and when they come in

later, they greet you and you feel all charged up for another productive

day. Plenty to do and learn and hence, you are prepared to stay back

late to do all that is necessary.

If you're currently doing a degree in finance, accounting or law, the

above is probably what you've been waiting for all these years. You work

your ass off (well... most of you) in university because it's your dream

to join one of those big glamorous firms out there in the market.

Lawyers and accountants are the usual suspects for this curse. Once

graduated, all of them will run like headless chicken towards those big

firms. If you're an accounting student... you want to be an auditor in

one of the Big-4 right?

Well, if you do make it, it's like a dream come true. In such firms, you

get a personal computer, maybe a notebook (wow!). All your stationeries

are free, and it's also the first time you step into a 'pantry', where

you can make your own coffee, just like those nice offices in TVB

series. Next, you get an exclusive e-mail, the domain after your name is

not the ordinary @ gmail.com <http://gmail.com/> or @hotmail.com

<http://hotmail.com/> or @ yahoo.com <http://yahoo.com/> ... No, it's

not, it's your-name@a-big-and-glamorous-firm.com

. You can't wait to tell

that to your friend.

Then comes the feeling of giving a business card with your name on it,

and it's not any other business card, it's one with your name on it,

it's one that signifies you're an employee with

a-big-and-glamorous-firm. And... the word below your name is not a lowly

"accounts executive"... the word below your name is exclusive... the

word below your name is... "Associate". And when your friend gives you

the "Wow, you're an associate with this firm?"... you get into instant

orgasm.

3 or 6 months into your job, you will then be experiencing the euphoria

of saying... I-am-very-busy... I-have-a-lot-work...

I-worked-till-very-late-last-night...

I-can't-make-it-for-the-gathering-cos-I-have-to-work-this-weekend. Yeah,

it's an euphoria because to you, it's a privilege to be busy, it's very

cool to work late, you're very proud to work in during weekends. When

you utter such words, a sense of arrogance and pride radiates from you.

You feel great because working so hard means you learnt a lot of things,

those not in the professional industry somehow looks lowly to you. You

feel big, you feel you're a level smarter than them .Reality will tend

to sink in within 2 years or so, though the duration seems to be getting

shorter and shorter now with the younger generation.

First, you will probably ask yourself, how come a graduate like you must

do all sorts of donkey jobs such as photocopying, checking invoices,

going through pile and pile of documents and filing. You will also be

wondering how come your superior whom you once looked up to have to suck

up to clients. Oh yeah... most all clients are unreasonable.

If you're an accountant, you will probably realise that there is no such

thing called a 'balance' sheet. It's balanced because you did the

balancing act so that your big boss can sign on it and certify it as

'true and fair'.

Yeah... signing on accounts, the job that you once dreamed of... isn't

exactly all a bed of roses. You then realise that you will probably

never reach that "just-need-to-sign-only stage" but hey... it's ok, you

probably hate that job by now. When you tell your client something,

chances are you are just as blur and confuse as them. But you have to

act as though you're an expert because you're the con-sul-tant. This is

just a glimpse of it.

Now, all the late nights and irregular meals will probably caused you to

age 8 years in 2 years. Those I-am-very-busy... I-have-a-lot-work...

I-worked-till-very-late-last-night...

I-can't-make-it-for-the-gathering-cos-I-have-to-work-this-weekend will

take its toll on your body and it will show. You will probably look very

skinny... or very far... you will certainly look old and worn out.

Working late and spending weekends in the office is no longer a cool

thing but absolute stupidity. But hey... you will still have to do it,

because there's still much work to be done.

By now, all your friends who ended up as salesmen or doing other thing

except being a professional, those whom you felt superior to are driving

anything but a proton. But for you, it's time to think whether you

should buy a proton cause your perodua is beginning to give you problem.

Of course, if your father is well-connected fella, things can be

different.

But if you're not, tough luck. You'll be wondering how come you're

generally under-paid. Those exposure and learning curve that you once

craved are no longer relevant. You want to make more money. But unless

you're a partner of the glamorous firm, money can be a lil tough to come

by.

At this point of time, probably after 3, 4 or 5 years, you finally

realised that document you signed when you first joined the glamorous

firm was nothing but lies. Then, you decide to ply your trade in the

commercial world, you leave those glamorous firm. You think joining a

commercial firm will bring about a good change, not knowing that such

move means you switched from being a 'profit centre' to a 'cost centre'.

One of the main effect of the switch is that you will be working doubly

hard compared to the profit centre, which probably includes a lot of

late nights too... but your salary and bonus is much lower compared to

profit centre. What does this mean... a story for another time.

One thing for sure... your morning will now be something like...

Your alarm rings, signalling another day... another weekday. You get up,

after snoozing the alarm a million and one times. You hope today is

Friday, but it's not, and you feel like shit. You think of a million and

one reasons to take MC, but you realised you have to go to office

because you failed to finish the report due today though you stayed till

10pm last night. You tell yourself you need to change job, just like how

you have been telling yourself in the last 1 year. Once in office,

you're in a dilemma cause you want time to go slower so that you can

finish your work but yet, you want time to go faster so that you can

leave the office and go for lunch.

During lunch, you will b**** with your colleagues about work and

probably the bosses. You will all talk about so many people who seem to

be doing so well except for you. You realised you should have done

something else while in university. You realised you may have made a

mistake in life... a mistake in being a professional... you have made...

a professional mistake.

ps: part of it is soo true that it scares me. heh

reminiscing the good ol' days

2011-04-02T13:16:00.006+08:00

i have a confession, i'm a little forgetful at times. but one thing's for sure i don't forget people and i think i tend to remember on smaller stuffs and not the whole picture. for example i remember a friend's favorite color even if we weren't that close and i haven't seen her for more than 5 years. or that i remember my first conversation to some people, on topics we first talked about. heh. i guess trying to remember all these little things is making me forget about important stuffs like my job or relating to my studies. this could be an advantage at times but mostly it is the opposite, especially when i'm trying so hard to forget about certain stuff. some memories are still fresh in my mind that it feels like it happened just yesterday. double heh

so anyways, there will be times when i would sit and just reminisce on my experiences in life. of what i had gone through over this 26 years of life (omg did i just revealed my age on purpose?) older people might say i have a lot more to go through and i'm not denying that, it's just that i cherish all these experiences; good or bad because that's what is making me, me today. so whenever there are bound to be some bad events in the future, i'll just say to myslef that it's gonna be alright because all these hardships are what i'm going to remember for the rest of my life. ooh~

ps: i think when i grow older, i'll be the kind of makcik/nenek who would tell her younger generation about her past life for no reason ;p

i love you daddy v2.0

2011-04-02T12:57:00.007+08:00

t'was my daddy's 70th birthday on the 24th March. So we the children and the wife decided to throw a little celebration for him last sunday.. 70 is a whole lot of numbers, don't you think? so we called up relatives and close neighbors and did a little doa selamat for my daddy..i must say, it was a fun thing as it was a surprise event and my dad was actually surprised the moment he saw everybody at the house with all the food on the table (he went to a wedding with mumsy and she had to make sure everything was ready the moment they reached home but as usual mummy dearie gave out a lot of clues but that's another story). too bad i was really excited to watch my daddy's face that i forgot to snap his expression at that moment. it was priceless.

ayah

you got me man

2011-03-25T01:07:00.004+08:00

S : Hey L what's the short form for minutes??
L : M I N S (smug face)
S : Well..yes you are
L : Huh?

after a few minutes..
L : fish!

S : Hey L, there's something on your face
L : Ha ha you can't fool me this time
S : No, seriously. you might want to get rid of it
L : Wipes the face
S : Oops sorry. That's just the letter L for loser on your forehead
L : Demm!

************************************************************************

ever so often people like to replace their curses with more decent words eg fish..dangit..basket..etc etc..not excluding yours truly. and by doing so, i would think that i'm not actually cursing. but come to think of it, even when i uttered those replaced words, i mentioned them as if i meant its original meaning. so the question is, does that mean that i was actually swearing all along? there's a saying that the most important thing is the intention (yang penting niat) hurmm

ps: once upon a time, somebody fell for me because of this. just ignore the corny clip btw

do i look like i care?

2011-03-20T11:30:00.006+08:00

there's a boy at my workplace who annoys me all the time. actually to be fair, he's not that bad but to me everything that comes out of his mouth is annoying. at first we got along really fine but after a while, he started to show his true colors. and i'm not the only one who thinks this way. but the thing is i'm being mean to him by treating him badly as in answering all his questions in sarcasm (well he started it first usually) and making fun to all his lame jokes. sometimes when i realize how mean i am being i would try to make it better but after that he would do something that well..annoys me..and i'm back to square one. not good lily. not good at all.

on another note, every morning i see people bustling about to go to their own workplace. i feel that everyone of us are slaves to our jobs. i know that probably more than half of the crowd come to the office just to make a living; not because they want to but they need/have to. all of them seem to be wearing the same clothes, the same expression and i'm sure also having the same feeling: not to be late for work. sometimes i think that we are zombies and we just follow our daily routines subconsciously. so that is why people who doesn't work with anyone brag to people like me about how they don't work 5 days a week and doesn't have office hours. heh

auditors we are

2011-03-13T11:26:00.007+08:00

being in the accounting field, most of my friends would obviously be doing either accounts, taxation or audit. some would probably get themselves involved into banking or investment but that's a rare case. so anyways i know a lot of auditors who all share the same work experience as i do.

and whenever we bump into each other, most of our topics would be non other than...WORK..i notice that we like to chat about how sleep deprived we are (we even asked each other how many hours we sleep each night), rant about some of our ridiculous clients, how our salary doesn't compensate our workload and yada yada..and some of us would be so stressed up that they face pimple break outs. or in my case, the classic case of dark cirlces/eye bags (more like luggage for me). i'm telling you, i look like a super panda these days..so yeah i assume other people would see us as boring people but what the heck.

as for now, the only thing that consoles me for being stuck in this situation is that i would like to gain my experience. plus there's a saying, berakit-rakit ke hulu, berenang-renang ketepian; bersusah-susah dahulu, bersenang-senang kemudian ;p

btw last two weeks, i got demotivated about something. i really felt like quitting and just concentrate on my long standing paper. but then a few days later i was given a new laptop (it was actually another senior's who left for a bigger firm) and it bounced back my feeling. at least no more lugging my laptop dinosaur..i'm telling you, i'm soo easy to be pleased. heh.

and i'm finally getting my own business card!like finally! so next time i can brag with, 'this is my card'. omg i sound so pathetic. you see there were a few occasions when my clients were asking for my card, and all i can say was, "i'm sorry i don't have one". a friend of mine was smarter and answered, "i'm sorry i left it in office". heh

my other auditor friend

ps: most friends who are not doing audit would ask the typical question: so..you really like audit huh?? err...

i need some excitement

2011-02-27T15:44:00.005+08:00

this flower has become grey-er each day..

the only time when i can really think about myself is during my walk to/from office which takes about 10-20 minutes per trip.
weekends are meant for finishing my unfinished work and laundry for my work clothes. and if i'm lucky enough, i would meet friends but only after work.
whenever i go shopping(more like window shopping) i tend to look for office wear instead of the casuals.
it's been 5 months (and counting) since i visited any cinema. i used to know all the latest movie on screen.
i've been sleeping for 3 hours these past few days and yet i still can't finish work on time.
to compensate, i would sleep in the car on my way to/from work.
ever so often i wake up in the morning in a jolt afraid that i would be late for work. that would later make me a bit dizzy.
ever so often i dream about my work and sometimes still think about it during my morning shower.
to comfort myself, i tend to spend money on good food (not necessarily expensive food, just good).

and that is why i seldom say no to any invites for a meet up, just to ensure that the brain stays sane and normal ;p

ps: since i haven't become an affiliate just yet, looks like these routines would go on for a while longer (T_T)

i love you daddy

2011-02-21T01:29:00.003+08:00

something to share:

the other day she told me that she told him. how typical. but all this while he pretended like he didn't know anything. so cute. then he mentioned to her to tell me not to say yes if something would ever to happen. he said i deserve the best. how sweet. now i know that he doesn't show it often (more like never) so knowing this just gives a warm feeling inside..aaah its that crazy hormone again..

just a quicky

2011-02-20T18:55:00.004+08:00

i've just noticed that i haven't been posting any new rants on this page.hehe. actually there were several times when i had the intention to post something ( i even thought of the right title) but then after signing in i just felt too lazy to create a post. plus i've been busy with work. yes i do work on saturdays and sundays too. my brother was asking me the other day whether i'm paid for extra working hours and i responded, if that was the case, i'd be rich already. my family even thought that i work 6 days a week and when there was this one time i didn't go because i felt too lazy, they were shocked to know the actual fact. heh..and on top of everything i still can't finish my job on time. i wonder why..it's not like i curi tulang during office hours and my clients are not that complicated so i just don't know the reason. i guess i'm too slow for this job.

so there's this bitch who confronted me saying that i am too slow and asked what my problem is. she thinks that i was quiet because i feel guilty but the truth is i just don't have the answer. this bitch is saying i do not respect her (well you have to respect others first to be respected) and again i just kept quiet. this is because that's the truth and i don't know what else to say. but anyways i said sorry to her and since then tried to be nicer but then this bitch is not making things any better. according to this kakak (my source for juicy office gossips) nobody in our department likes her. i thought to myself, even the principals don't complain/nag at me so what right does an assistant manager has? all i can say is some people are a natural born bitch. plus you should've seen the way she treats the opposite sex. even my guy friend noticed that.

i'm thinking one of this day i might be fired because of my incompetency. i don't want to be a pessimist, just trying to be realistic. this is because i'm always overdue and always blurry with audit. plus the fact that i'm such a slacker and forgetful makes it more difficult. i think i need a new environment. and that is why i can't wait to start a new client this coming week. but then again, i need to go out with her tomorrow to finalise some stuffs with the current client. i just hope that this would be the last for me to work with her. only i have a feeling that's not the case. she's really fussy and anal (as what another guy friend said).

ooh my hormone is going crazy as usual. this morning i was watching this video for the first time and well..cried..earlier last week me and big sis cried watching hatchiko even if we only watched the last 30 minutes of the movie. heh

on a different note, tomorrow's the big day. hopefully everything would turn out fine. till then, bye!

ps: i tend to swear a lot ever since i started audit. not good lily. not good at all..

mana mungkin

2011-01-31T01:07:00.007+08:00

went to another friend's wedding. actually both of them are my friends. i can't help but feel excited to meet the rest of the batch (even if we weren't that close or never spoke to each other before) each time when we meet at some fellow mates' wedding.ooh i so can't wait for my high school reunion.

close friends back in perak

panda eyes

last saturday a friend told me that i should socialize more. but the thing is i don't know how and i think i'm a lil rusty on that part. plus all this while i thought that i have a moderate social life? hurm..

recently another friend was pissed with my other friend. to me it was actually nothing but then to that person the bitch really hurt her since she crossed the limits. i noticed that it has something to do with that person's principles in life. and so there's no compromising when it comes to that. to tell you the truth i too have my own principles even if it's not that much. however i don't think i have ever mentioned it to anybody but maybe just maybe if that somebody is close enough with me he/she would learn some of 'em. most friends call me conservative but guess what? i don't mind it a bit :)

ps: currently listening to the song
pps: i really hate it when people feel sorry for me. trust me it's just making things worse

the girl from ipanema

2011-01-26T00:24:00.002+08:00

i guess i'm still in the island mood. i can just imagine the smell of coconut in the air (honestly there were none such during the trip). one of the directors sang this song on our last night there. it seemed very suitable to our moods at that time. and now i can't get the song off my mind..maybe someone can sing this song to me perhaps? anyone? but then the title would need to be changed to the girl from kajang. heh

omg i forgot that i need to go to work tomorrow. i think today i was a bit famous since everyone was looking for me for my pending jobs. err...

i skipped work today just for fun

2011-01-25T19:05:00.004+08:00

had fun. well not really FUN fun but it was okay. managed to do a few trips of shopping for ridiculous stuffs eg chocolate balinese traditional body scrub, chocolate banana chips & a box of garuda shaped chocolates. yeah i love chocolates.

ooh btw have i told you that i have a crush on somebody? he seems smart in his smart-alecky way. only thing is..

he's a celebrity. well sort of..heh

see ya later aligator!

2011-01-20T01:52:00.009+08:00

i'm leaving for bali in a couple of hours (which means to say i should be sleeping at this hour). i'm not sure whether i'm excited about it or not, since it is an unplanned trip. however i felt touched when all my friends (and also principal) wished me the best for my short trip. i know i know it's nothing and i think it's partly due to my hormone going crazy again but part of me would like to think that people are really glad of me joining this trip, to allow myself to get off on stuffs for awhile. it's good to think positive, no?

so for that matter, i stayed late in the office tonight. most people pity my condition, saying that i'm forcing myself too much. but honestly i don't mind it a bit. of course it's tiring but i feel that it's still bearable. have i mentioned that i like my current job? even if it means having panda eyes almost every day and having lesser time to socialize like a normal person should be? as crazy as it sounds, i like it when being pressured especially when the deadline is near. i think i work more efficiently when being pressured. but then again i always tell my friend that if this adrenaline rush keeps flooding me i'll get a heart attack sooner than i thought. heh. sometimes i pity ourselves as we have to face such stress at a young age (in this i meant the rest of the juniors who are between 20-23 years old). btw i forgot to mention that i'm the oldest amongst the juniors. and i am also the most senior among the juniors. heh

this place is neater than the usual

just what i needed

2011-01-16T07:50:00.008+08:00

hello sunday,

i have a question. guess who's going to bali this thursday? hehe

i suddenly received a call from a colleague yesterday morning saying that there's 1 empty seat for the company trip, and i thought to myself this must be destiny. remember once i said about destiny? it's a 5 days-4 nights-all-expenses-on-the-company trip, who doesn't want to go right?

anyways i was very excited when i first found out about this company trip but was then disappointed when my colleague(the same lady who called) said that it's only for confirmed staff. she said not to worry as i can join them for the next company trip which is next year. and remember i once said that i need a break, to go somewhere foreign? well looks like luck is on my side then..

on the other hand i still have a lot of job in hand. i asked my principal whether she's okay with me joining the trip since i have a deadline on this 31st but she replied my text, yes darling go ahead. i'm sure she doesn't mind but i can foresee myself going back late everyday before the trip as i have another client to start tomorrow. grr

i think i've been abandoning this blog too much. honestly i do visit it often and still do blog reading (usually when i feel too bored with work) but i just feel too lazy to post up anything. plus i'm sure my post would be the same, ie about work and work and work..ooh i sound workaholic eyh?NOT

there were several times where my colleagues asked me what's my plan for the weekend. and so far the answer would be the same, saturday back to office and if i'm lucky enough to finish work early, i would go out for a while after that. then sunday would be my laundry day + preparing the mental for the following week. heh..last time i used to be boring, now i look boring too..i'm sure the cinemas are missing my presence. heh

so that's it. got to get back to work. need to submit the overdue report tomorrow and do planning for the other client. bubbye

ps: i just realised that a good friend's wedding is this next saturday. i feel so guity to zee, but the thing is once you confirmed joining the trip there's no backing out or you'll have to bear all the cost incurred. hmm

truth be told

2011-01-09T09:52:00.008+08:00

a lot of people told me not to worry, as i will find somebody else better. but the thing is, i wanted it to lasts forever or else i would've find a replacement when i had the chance(s).

a few said that i am better than her but then again it was never a competition. and even if it is, i have lost the game even before i knew it had started. and that is why i'm backing off, because i don't want to be a sour loser anymore.

a friend told me that everybody would go through this kind of experience in life, how naive was i to even thought that i wouldn't face this situation.

another friend said that i am taking things well, but the thing is, she doesn't know what goes around behind the scenes.

i hate it when i'm all alone, because that's when all the unwanted memories come flooding in my head. people say, don't think about it, and trust me i am trying hard not to. but sometimes even the slightest thing could trigger back the memories.

up till today, i'm still figuring out what i did wrong to deserve such fate..i'm sure that i am also to be blamed, it's just that i still don't know what it is. it's not that i'm too ego, thinking that i never did wrong because i believe it takes two to start a fight.

it saddens me when they treat me like i was never part of their lives. it saddens me more when he did the same. i'm amazed that a person could totally erase another person (who he claimed to love) in his life within a short span of time. i guess it was never love in the first place.

if you're thinking that i am still wishing and hoping that things would come back to where it used to, then you're wrong. because what's done is done. i just can't believe that this is happening to me. sometimes i think that i'm living in a dream, and hope that one day somebody would wake me up from this nightmare. it happened so quickly i didn't have the chance to prepare myself when it came.

to be honest, i am exhausted of being in this phase. i want to skip this part of my life but of course that is being immature. people say i'll be happier in the future, but what about the present? mom said there's a blessing in disguise and i'm still figuring what it is.

it saddens me when their reactions were , 'seriously?'

the wound is still fresh and i am nursing it slowly. i feel disappointed that he chose this decision. i lost my so called best friend. nobody to ask me how i spent my day, nobody to wish me good night, nobody to share my problems with. he decided to play that role for another person. but like i said what's done is done.

the first page of a new chapter

2011-01-01T08:04:00.005+08:00

hello 2011,

where did all of you celebrate? well i was on bed when i heard the first firework indicating that it was 12 midnight. boring me eyh? i was too tired from work earlier since i was stuck with a client's stock take and later at office to finish another client's work. sigh. apparently i have a few friends who had the same luck as myself whilst everybody else is enjoying the additional public holiday that the prime minister decided to grant after the malaysian football team won. to tell you the truth, i didn't watch any of their matches. actually i haven't watched the t.v for a few weeks, i think. i've been doing stock take since tuesday and had to come back to office to finish my actual work. so almost everyday i arrived home after 10p.m. ooh just to let you know, i have a friend who was assigned to a stock take this morning at 5a.m at a night club. heh

so the usual question people would ask is, what's your new year resolution? as for myself it's the usual, to be a better person than i was before. i had a few plans for this year but sadly i had to forget all about it due to an unexpected event. but fret not, i can still make new plans for this year. i can't wait to start everything new, to start a new life. 2010 wasn't a good year for me but i think everybody has their worst period in his/her life. this year i'm planning to buy myself a car, lets hope that it will come true. heh

now that i have cleared my mind, i think for the rest of this year, i would focus on my career plans and to ensure i become an ACCA affiliate. other than that, we'll see how the wind would blow..remember i once had the i-wanna-get-married-now phase? well not anymore. from now on i'll just focus on the 2 things mentioned above.

ps: i thought that no retail therapy could heal my wounded heart, but hey it does! heh
pps: this song reminds me of highschool
ppps: last thursday the guy who was performing the stock count guessed that i was 18. what the pfft? and so i said i was 22 instead. *blush

at this point of time in my life

2010-12-25T18:24:00.003+08:00

i shall remember everything. how people treat me. how they treat me. how you treat me. the hardship that i'm facing.. from the things i've received. and from the things that i've lost. how i feel about everything. i want to remember it all, so that one day when everything is far away, i shall look back and smile. smile to what i have achieved along the journey that i had gone through.

so yes, i have lost half of the memories of my adult life. but i am keen on making new memories with my friends and family, who would always be here no matter what. i regretted having them become second before. never again.

tell me why

2010-12-21T23:01:00.006+08:00

hello there,

i hope everything is fine at the other side. at the moment i'm trying hard to run towards the safe side but i keep on stumbling on my way there. my legs can't seem to function properly. and sometimes my heart beats faster but most of the time i think it forgot to beat at all.

sometimes in life when you think that the luck is not at your side, you should think again. because there are bound to be other people who suffer more than you do. take example of the poor people who doesn't have a lot of choices in life. a family member of mine was admitted to the hospital for a serious illness recently and i feel that my condition is way much better than what her family members are facing. i know that i should be thankful with what i have to date, even if it is lesser now.

things at work are still the same. still trying hard to cope. but now things are better since i have friends where i can share work related problems with. and no more problem of thinking about who would accompany me for lunch. in fact sometimes(more like most of the time) i'm the one who decides where we should eat. hehe

today, another person thought that i've just finished high school. at that time i was bringing my laptop,wearing work clothes and holding the audit file. isn't it obvious? so okay, maybe my bag pack didn't show the laptop but i'm pretty sure i was making a straight/professional face. recently i've been getting this assumption a lot. and i'm getting tired of it(actually i'm tired of everything at the moment). it's funny because back when i was still studying, people thought i've started working. there were a few incidents where my clients thought that i was just some kid pestering in their offices. last saturday, i received the door gift meant for kids at a wedding. and to think that i've put on my make up and wore a not too shabby baju kurung moden. i always wonder, don't people know that petite/small/short people grow old too? a kakak said that i would appreciate this in years to come but at this moment i'm not liking it a bit. because when people think that i'm young, they don't take me seriously. and all this while i thought i looked professional. ooh did i mention even the security guard in our building keeps stopping me during the first month i joined the firm. that's why i always look so serious when passing them. heh

so okay. i think i've done enough ranting. i'm suppose to be doing my audit planning but i just don't feel like doing anything. even retail therapy won't help. well maybe karaoke does, but that doesn't mean i can sing well. heh. i think i sigh a lot nowadays. i hate to think that when i do, other people could smell my stinkin breath. hehe

ps: the lyrics are wrong, i know

i wanna be a lawyer

2010-12-12T09:34:00.001+08:00

back to becoming the boring inexperienced auditor this week. i was assigned with china guy to audit at the client's place. he's called china guy since he's in fact from china. so you can imagine how we communicate. he speaks english but with he's own cute accent, sometimes i pity him when nobody understood what he was talking about. Sometimes he tries to talk to me about something but when i didn't understand we just laughed and he would brushed it off. funny i tell you. sometimes when he couldn't find the right english word, he would say it in mandarin but of course i wouldn't have the slightest clue. when i found out that i was assigned with him(i had to replace my friend since she quit last week), i was petrified thinking that it would be very awkward working with him. but surprise surprise he's easy to work with aside from the language barrier. we even make jokes with our own way. tee hee

so on friday he asked me to read through the client's legal files since he has some difficulty understanding the whole picture and would take thrice a time to finish reading both files. i couldn't help having a sudden adrenaline rush while reading them. you see i really wanted to become a lawyer since i entered highschool. part of it was because i was influenced by ally mcbeal. but some of the correspondence were in bahasa and everything seemed to be directly translated from english hence it sounded weird.

also part of why i wanted to become a lawyer was because i didn't excel in all of my science related subjects. heh. and so i only concentrated on the subjects that would allow me to further my studies in law ie mainly in history and english. but then things didn't turn out as i expected. i couldn't believe that i would be doing accounting if you'd asked me back then.

when i was in my final year at school a friend(let's just call her doraemon) said that she's not sure whether i could be a lawyer, but one thing she's sure about is that i could be a loyar burok. pfft.

ps: i wanna be a billionaire too! then i could buy all the things that i want. heh

no comment

2010-12-07T21:02:00.004+08:00

yeay i'm free from the exam mode. let's just hope that this is for the last time. unfortunately i have to head back to the boring ol' office tomorrow. thank goodness two of my friends will be joining the firm soon. told you i'm good at persuading..

on another note i would like to talk about destiny. a pretty heavy topic for my brain since i'm still feeling a little tired from vomiting AAA a few hours back. i believe everything happens for a reason. if it's meant to be, then it's meant to be. same with the stuffs i want to buy. i've been wanting this one bag since its arrival but then of course the wallet didn't agree with me. and so i waited since there are bound to have a newer much prettier bags in the future, when the wallet is more agreeable with me. and so i waited. and then suddenly a few weeks back, there was a christmas sale and i thought that it must be a sign. but then something made me changed my mind. but then suddenly i found out yesterday that there is a smaller(cheaper) version of the bag and i thought to myself, 'this is it! it must be a sign. i shouldn't wait no more. tee hee. so goes with other stuffs. i always wait for a discount(tsk tsk, i'm still poor remember?) and i always tell myself if i'm meant to be with that stuff, i would surely get it. even after a few months maybe years but when i finally get what i wanted, it's a satisfaction i can't describe. hehe. okay i'm talking nonsense. i forgot to stop talking nonsense since entering the exam hall earlier this evening. heh

ps: lets just hope that i am destined to pass this time around

ooh la la

2010-11-30T12:48:00.004+08:00

in a week's time, i'll be struggling in the exam hall for AAA..but let's not spoil the mood for today. i just got back from kuching. really had fun with fellow schoolmates. although the trip resulted a sore throat and a blocked nose, i really had fun. i never thought that i could still pull off the sarawakian dialect after 8 years of leaving kuching. yup that's right, 8 whole years. how time flies.

all in all the trip consisted of a lot of photo takings and of course eating. i never knew how much i missed everybody till i met them again. it's true when they say that your friends in school will never be the same as your friends after school. heh

the main reason for this whole trip. girl, i forgot to congratulate you in person..so congrats! sori kamek sempat nganok kitak hari ya ;p

roomates back in 2001

ps: i'm scared to check my email..just in case the manager wants me to complete my unfinished assignment..err..

hi ho

2010-11-20T18:52:00.002+08:00

actually i don't really like the idea of us juniors talking behind the back of our seniors. but then again, i'm always the first to prick my ears when somebody opens a subject. sometimes i think that we don't deserve to be treated that way but then again maybe we do, since most of the time we tend to goof around a lot. but hey, all work and no play makes jack a dull boy no?? bear in mind, we do complete our tasks accordingly and we just thought that a lil goofing won't hurt anybody as long as you get your work done. but of course they don't agree with us, hence why last thursday my neighbor was asked to transfer her place because previously we had laughed(quite loudly i must say but my voice was not as loud as my neighbour's) about a certain matter and that prick didn't seem happy about it. do you know that he immediately came to our desks to check whether we were doing our work?? luckily i was actually typing something but my neighbor wasn't hence the transfer. what a dick head.

man i can't wait for next friday. not because i will start my study(unpaid) leave but because i'll be going on a trip to kuching. yeay! the last time i went there was when i collected my spm results. can't wait to meet the others over there.

ooh did i mention the word study? well my exam is just around the corner but of course i haven't prepared myself. i just hope that the 1 week(minus 4 days for the trip) would be sufficient to jam everything into my brain. i really hope i can pass this time around. can't wait to leave the company. the office culture is so so very bad, i think. but then again everywhere is probably the same. at least some of the seniors really guided us when we needed them. notice the word some? plus the managers are both cool even if one of them sometimes acts like a bitch. i guess she's just being a typical workaholic who expects everyone to be like her. hurm.

ooh it suddenly hit me last thursday to apply at the government sector. at least i can gain some of the cool benefits. ooh did i mention that i plan to buy a house in putrajaya? this is because i heard that that place has never been cut off from electricity/water supply. good eyh? plus the neighborhood is quite safe, considering the constant police patrol around the neighborhood. and government servants get a 25% off. what more can i say?? but of course that plan is not for the near future.

ooh btw a colleague of mine said that i like to use the tag line, not in the near future. heh

my very first

2010-11-04T19:27:00.010+08:00

hello there,

i'm back at home. we had to cancel the stock take since the flood is getting worse. honestly this is my very first 'flood experience'. well our place isn't that bad compared to jitra but since alor star is just nearby, you get the picture. all in all our trip seemed like a vacation since we only managed to do our work for one and a half day out of our 4-day-stay since the road to our client's base is closed. and since it'll take time for all the water to recede, we figured we better not waste our time(plus the fact that even our hotel was cut from water supply, it's something about the dam i think). so here i am back to square one. luckily tomorrow is a public holiday, i am soo not ready to enter the office. i had fun with all the internal auditors as they are way much fun than the externals(excluding yours truly of course). btw do you know that the last time kedah was hit with flood was 5 years ago? heh

in front of our room yesterday evening

it got worse by night time

however the water started to recede this morning before we left for k.l. but things can be unpredictable since just the day before, water also started to recede in the morning but increased in the evening. heh

ps: deepavali nalvalthukkal to those celebrating tomorrow!!
pps: i just learned the word nalvalthukkal yesterday. hehe

scooby dooby doo where are you?

2010-10-31T11:56:00.009+08:00

i used to love watching this cartoon. i even memorized the lyrics. but as i grow older, i noticed that the conclusion is always the same. there's always a bad guy pretending to be a ghost. so anyways yesterday evening at the office there were some fireworks and a little celebration(our office is located near a few nightclubs/pubs hence the loud music). i was curious on what the occasion was for when a colleague of mine said it's for the ghost day celebration. at first i thought it's some chinese festival but she said no, the hollywood people celebrate it too. then finally it occured to me that she was referring to halloween. hahah both of us were soo lame..so anyways happy halloween(though i know not many even care about today).

ps: leaving for kedah in 2hours time..i only brought PYQs and a few pages of notes so i won't feel guilty for not attending the revision class tomorrow till wednesday..huhu

pps: how do i access to ACCA's PYQs? accaglobal website is soo not user friendly

is this really me?

2010-10-30T09:30:00.006+08:00

Dear Marilyn,

I was just wondering whether you have reviewed my file?and if you had done
so,are there any review points for me to clear before i leave for kedah
tomorrow?

Regards,


Lily
PKF


*kalau dulu mesti buat2 lupe,then bile manager baru teringat cakap kat die " aww too bad, i already left for kedah"
(@_@)

whazup?

2010-10-29T17:22:00.006+08:00

okay that sounds lame..i think it's been quite some time since i posted anything in this little blog of mine. been a little busy balancing between being a good employee, a good student and a good daughter(in this i meant by doing the house chores la..).therefore i had no time to update. i now only have a few hours before the manager gives her feedback to me on my report. i'm sure that i'll need to do some amendments before the final report can be issued. the thing is i'm really in short of time since the deadline is supposed to be this sunday but due to some constraints(which i shall not bore you with) i couldn't meet. and the worst thing is i'm leaving on sunday to do stock take in kedah. so can you imagine how stressful i am for this whole week?on top of everything, we had 2 days of training which could've saved me some time if the management hadn't decide to do it this week. they should've done it way back when we first entered la dey..

if you'd asked me last month, whether i'm looking forward to this trip, i would've straight away said no. however now that i had to deal with a few hiccups, i really can't wait to go out of the office. do you know that i've been having lunch in the office just so i can finish my work? and guess what? i still can't finish them! sometimes it's frustrating but sometimes i like the pressure. i think that's why i'm getting crazier these days. heh

so far things have been good. got the opportunity to spend time with my favoritest person these past few days(hence became part of the reason for the delay in meeting the deadline ;>). sadly i couldn't attend my revision class next week which is making me more worried about my final exam. i really really X 1000 X infinity need to pass this time around if i want to get a salary increment.

so that's all for now. not sure when will be the next time that i'm going to update. till now. bubbye.

ps: that justin bieber's song with usher kept playing in my head since yesterday.eeuw.

pps: just had a talk with the manager. guess who's coming back to office tomorrow?

my officemates love to do their business at work

2010-10-02T00:45:00.004+08:00

hello world..

just finished checking(stalking) other people's life and realized that i envy their lives. so far my social life has been stagnant. every day i'd do the same routine and although i realize this fact, i have no intention of changing it. i feel that i don't have time for my own. i don't even have time to cut my nails..but don't worry, it's not that critical so you won't see me in the next news for the girl who committed suicide @_@

i wake every morning dreading to go to work, but who doesn't huh? it's only my 3rd week of working but i already hate the routine. don't get me wrong, i love what i'm doing but i don't like it when i have to meet deadlines(who doesn't huh?) and the nervous feeling i get whenever my work is overdue. do you know that i think about what to do before and after i wake up from sleep? so much of being the employee of the month. i guess any other person in this world have the same feeling as i do and i just need to familiarize myself with the new situation. i'm just wondering how long could i stand to this routine. who would've thought that the conservative me could get bored this quick.

i think most of us nowadays are slaves to our job. i used to question about women who decide to become housewives instead of working. i thought what's the point of studying if you're not going to utilize all your knowledge? but now i get the picture. at least when you're a housewife, you get to do whatever you want(aside from being a doting wife/mother, of course) and you have a choice not to practice the same routine over and over again. man, i've been mentioning the word routine so many times. anyways this routine thing suddenly reminds me of the matrix ;p.

most people say that we accountants/auditors are boring people and i try my best to defy that statement. however now i'm thinking that i probably have fallen into that category. i think i look boring too. and i feel bad for myself, since i can't make time to study. it's really difficult and i'm just praying that everything will turn out fine.

okay, i think i've done enough ranting for today. have to wake early tomorrow for AAA class. here we go with the routine again.

btw this week, a guy mentioned that i look like a penagite(i think he meant anak mami) and yesterday another guy from china said that i look like a chinese. he even asked whether i have chinese blood in me. man, never in my life have i received such comments. i guess when you're the latest addition in the company, people tend to scrutinize you.

ps: watched 'magika' this week. i have no complains since i didn't pay for the ticket (^_^). well except for mawi's freaking ugly wig and the fact that we could see that the location was actually a golf course. heh. but i do like some of the songs expecially from nenek kebayan(ziana zain) and the naga(m. nasir).

pps: i've been complaining a lot lately. NEED TO CHANGE ATTITUDE NOW! heh

i'm sorry but what's your name again?

2010-09-19T21:11:00.002+08:00

sigh. tomorrow would be another day in my new office. i bet everyone is bored by now, since i've been complaining about my job. anyhoo this is about my new job. all in all i enjoyed this new experience but there's only one thing which i dislike. it's on the social environment in this company. since we malays are a minority(gee i thought this time would be different), everyone else usually speaks a language that we don't understand. so far i could only see us 3 malays in the company but i'm keeping my hopes high thinking perhaps all the malay staffs were still on their raya leave last week.

there's this one time when i joined my seniors for lunch. all three of them were chatting while eating with their mother tongue without even considering my presence. and sometimes they were talking about me(i'm pretty sure since one of them were pointing at me,how rude). but of course i tried to be positive, thinking that they were saying good things about me. heh. i felt sad actually and thought to myself, is this what we call 1 malaysia? where different race respect each other? hurm

anyways on that same day, a person asked me to go lunch by myself since the rest of them wanted to go to a non halal eating place. i don't know what was wrong with me but i felt like crying at that time, you know the sudden lump you get at your throat? silly huh? luckily the 3 seniors mentioned above invited me, but then later it seemed/felt like i was eating alone after all.

i don't know how long do i need to face this situation. apparently this is normal. people go lunch with their own people. i call it racism. i don't understand why we can't agree to an understanding. at least at my old place, we go lunch with anybody and on my first day the lunch was paid by the company. plus nobody is allowed to speak other than english at work(which made me feel awkward when speaking to another malay). heh

ooh one more thing. remember that i said that i couldn't wait for hari raya? well i changed my mind. i don't know why but i just don't feel the excitement that i usually get for the season. do you know that i haven't taken a single picture(using my own camera la) during this raya? i just noticed it today. sedih. i only took less than 5 pictures using my sister's camera. and the fact that everyone else is busy uploading/showing off their raya pics doesn't help much. man, i'm so green with envy. heh. i do go visiting others and everything seems the same like every raya but i guess i expected too much for this year. the fact that i have the most baju raya this year compared to the previous years doesn't change anything. even if i received a raya packet although my status have turned into órang bekerja' also doesn't change anything. i don't know. i just hope that things would turn out differently soon.

ooh i forgot to mention that i like my new lecturer. his name is marcus and he's super funny. he makes smart jokes and he knows a lot of general knowledge(good for my case huh?). i just hope that this is the last time to enter the exam hall. but the thing is, i haven't even reviewed yesterday's notes, not to mention the previous previous notes. so hot hot chicken shit. hehe.

before i forget, have you reached the state where you feel embarrassed to admit your real age? i know that it's normal especially for the ladies but i didn't expect it coming from myself. at least i thought that i would eventually get this feeling as i turn above 30 but apparently it came earlier. actually i got this feeling since last year, i think. at the office a lady asked me whether i am an intern. then another lady(the same person who told me to go lunch by myself) tried to guess my age. she thought that i was 3-5 years younger than my actual age. but of course i was smart enough to dodge the question and to keep the information to myself *wink

ps: kecut jari jemari ku dek cuci pinggan tetamu (-_-")

leaving on a ktm commuter

2010-09-08T13:57:00.002+08:00

well today is my last day in this company. my senior asked me this morning whether i'm excited upon leaving the company and starting new at the other firm. of course i didn't say yes but truthfully i don't think i'm either excited or sad about my leaving. heck i've been here for only 2 months. but then i do feel a tinge of sadness now that i've made a few friends here. this also means that this is the last time i'll be blogging during office hours, since i doubt my next firm have internet access. hurm

remember that i barely have work to do to last me till the evening everyday? well i've been pretty busy yesterday and this morning. all of a sudden i'm needed by everybody. heh..btw i received an email from jobstreet the other day. it says my application to cdam is unsuccessful. haha how ironic since i'm leaving the company today.

ooh marion caunter is tying the knot! didn't know that they've been together for 5 years! i think that's a lot for a celebrity like her. i wonder what her muslim name would be...mariam perhaps? hehe

ooh if you like to drink tea, like yours truly and her family, maybe you should try these two. sedap! especially the caramel.

ps: padan la gigi kitorang semua 'creamy' je T_T
pps: suddenly i feel anxious about this new job. hopefully it's better than this one.
pps: eh lupe pulak, SELAMAT HARI RAYA MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN to all my muslim readers ;)

a lil bit of this and that

2010-09-03T12:48:00.008+08:00

somehow the time passes by very slowly when i'm in the office. i feel sorry to the 9 employees whom i am responsible to for their paychecks. unfortunately the boss forgot to sign(for the umpteenth time) my checks even when i've reminded him yesterday. and today he isn't in his office. which means that they will only get their august salary on the 6th. i feel guilty because i didn't have the guts to force my boss to sign right there and then. even if he signs tomorrow, nothing can be done plus i won't be in the office tomorrow.

i checked my weight last night and surprise surprise yours truly have lost 2.5kgs. and that was after berbuka so what does that mean? but fret not, i'm sure i will gain back my loyal kgs as soon as syawal begins. maybe in the first week of raya perhaps? i don't mind the weight issues, just the tummy issues T_T

recently i've been browsing through a lot of cafes/restaurants sites just to fill in my remaining days in CDAM. i know that it's bad during this fasting month but my boredom and growling tummy forced me into doing it. yeah right..everyday i would turn up half an hour late(not that it's my own fault) and be the first to leave the company at 5p.m sharp. i don't want people to think that just because it's my final week, i'm acting like this. but then again, to hell with that. can't wait to start anew at a new environment. i just found out yesterday that my new office would be close to pavillion. close as in 10 minutes walking distance. hurm..

i want to shop for hari raya but my check is still floating(i wonder why) and so i'm not sure whether i will be able to use the money by tomorrow. it's not really shopping raya since i'll be buying work clothes. by the way, have i mentioned that i now look older? i've only worked for 2 months yet i feel and look old already. plus my daily routine would do no help for the tummy issues. i need to exercise more.

anyways the hari raya is just around the corner. i have friends who are not as excited as i am for the event. i know that i am because i like the food i'll be eating during this festive season. i can't wait to eat rendangs and lemangs and ketupats and lontongs and so forth(and now do you believe that i have tummy issues?) man, i'm salivating already.

last but not least, i would like to promote the hotlink hot ticket for ramadhan. i think it's woth it and am going to get myself one next week(since i reloaded my credit yesterday), bolehlah buka dengan ayam kfc nanti ;p for more info click me

ps: ooh i've just noticed that i haven't been posting any of my pictures for quite some time. but i guess it's okay since most of you readers are my in my fb friends list, no?
pps: of late i've been blog hopping to a few food blogs. didn't know that there are a bunch of people who take time to blog about food and only food

kecik kecik dah gatal

2010-08-31T12:03:00.005+08:00

one question: if this is suppose to be one of the propaganda about unity, then why is the other race being left out?

ps: truthfully speaking, i myself started having crushes as early as kindergarten ;p
pps: just realised this morning that the hari raya is next week. yeay!
ppps: please ignore those fat thighs T_T

jalur lebar bb

2010-08-26T08:55:00.006+08:00

oh i've just noticed this ad this morning. i rarely listen to the radio, kesian. anyways for a split second there i had no idea what it was. then i thought it was "wide band" haha how slow can i get. only after that i realized that it actually means broadband. haha talk about direct translation. sounds funny.

anyways i've just found out yesterday that all of us are getting our salary on the 1st, the soonest. that is because my stingy boss is away, though i've prepared the checks as soon as i found out that he'll be away. he didn't even consider that perhaps us muslims/malays would want our salary a little early for the aidilfitri. i still don't understand why he can't sign those damn checks. it's not like he's going to drop a single sweat. i feel like forging his signature because it's too simple. hehe. so that's the cons of getting paychecks. plus i need to wait for another 3 days before i can spend my salary. heh. on top of that, the chinese staffs were given rm500 as red packets for cny(i've mentioned this before haven't i?) but none of us malays are getting any (green?) packets even if there's only the 7 of us in the company. for indian staff lagi lah tak ada harapan since there's only one. talk about justice.

ooh by the way i'm currently on PLL(pretty little liars) , another typical teenage series that i find quite interesting. it's like a teenage version of desperate housewives(which i also watch). so if you like watching GG, perhaps you should watch PLL while waiting for the 4th season of GG. coincidentally the theme song is the same as my ring tone. heh

so close

2010-08-23T15:15:00.004+08:00

*insert song so close by john mclaughlin

yup. received the news that all the candidates of ACCA and CAT have been waiting for the past 2++ months. and i passed! horray! but only for one subject...and i need just four marks to graduate. why oh why?(insert whiny expression). heh. this is what we say, so close yet so far away. guess i'll just have to wait another eight months to see whether i can finally become an affiliate. damn i've been waiting for that day to happen since forever. haish.

but then again i am thankful that at least i passed the other paper. to tell you the truth, i did badly for both papers, so i guess i was lucky then. and for this darn subject, lets just hope that third time is the charm ;)

sissy

2010-08-17T13:27:00.004+08:00

i just saw somebody saying 'i miss my sissy' in her wall..funny

on another note, this word reminds me of one time when there were a few guys who called my friend a sissy. even if i don't really like him, they shouldn't have done that. the poor guy just laughed together with the rest of the class when the essay was read aloud. and to think that i once had a crush on that jerk. heh

anyways nothing much from me hence the lack of postings. last weekend was dreadful as my company had its AGM + an event going on and we all had to be involved since we lack of man power. do you know that i only slept for 2 hours prior to the event?plus all of us had to stand all day long. bodo punya bos. thank goodness i'm leaving this company soon. however the event made me closer to the other staffs. now i have friends to gossip with. heh

ps: this is only my 2nd day of puasa yet i've made a long list of what to eat for buka already...

as usual

2010-07-31T10:29:00.010+08:00

i don't have anything to do. 2 more hours to go but i've completed my tasks since 30 minutes ago. so far i had to do routine stuffs(no wonder people say that accounts people are boring) and have decided to leave this company ever since day 1. o yeah i received my first pay yesterday, though it was not much(i've only worked for 13 days) but i'm still happy since t'was my first income of my own. heh

ever since i entered this company, i'm having this minor problem. i haven't got this problem before and it seems to be initiated at the same period as mentioned. i suddenly have sweaty palms and sweaty feet. sounds disgusting eyh? well mine is not that bad. i'm really confused because my palms would get all sweaty, leaving the computer mouse all wet when i touched it for quite some time. and i sometimes have difficulty when i walk as my feet tend to sweat too. i googled and found out that it could be due to my nervous system or that maybe i'm just stressed out with my new job(though i very much doubt that). and it could also be due to genetic and i do believe that this is the factor since my sister, cousin and niece have the same problem too. the only thing is, this problem usually occurs at a young age, not when you're already a quarter of a century ;p.

and the best part is, the solution for this would be a medical surgery. heh

click me

ps: do you know that dark circles under the eye can be from hereditary too? it's no wonder that i can't seem to remove the existence of my dark circles, even when i had enough sleep. i remember my late grandad, who had the same problem as mine. just so you know, i looked at my photo when i was young and guess what? there were circles under the eyes, though not very obvious. and now, lil alanna is facing the same situation too. heh

i'm the one

2010-07-27T16:35:00.005+08:00

i'm the one, who falls asleep on the desk while reading the compulsory acts

i'm the one who frequently visits the toilet

i'm the one who loiters around at the other company, watching other people bustling about

i'm the one left in the company while other people are busy going to and fro for the event

i'm the one who completed all her tasks before going out for lunch

i'm the one sitting far away, where nobody notices her presence

i'm the one who keeps on surfing the internet until she doesn't know what else to surf

i'm the one who people only seek regarding claims or paychecks

i'm the one who has all the time in the world to update her own blog

ps: went lunch with her today. apparently she's not that bad. i think it's just her nature, to not know how to show a friendly face (=

pps: managed to scoop another info, apparently she'd just gave birth to her third child last feb. and the company gave her rm2000 as a gift.

am i right?

2010-07-24T08:30:00.002+08:00

currently this is my favorite question..

there's this lady, sitting in front of me. i've been told that she's been working for this company for 6 years. she's the fund accountant. unfortunately for me the senior supervising me is located at the opposite company(there's 2 company, mine is the subsidiary). therefore when my senior is busy, i shall resort to this lady.

there's just this one problem. i'm not really fond of her. she's not friendly and whenever i asked her to guide me something, she would do it in a haste hence making it difficult to digest everything. and i tend to ask a lot of questions, since i'm all new. but i have a feeling that she doesn't like it. for example today, she commented me because i forgot to do something. as for my senior, she doesn't make remarks on my mistakes as she understands my situation. she even said that i'm adorable when i make silly mistakes(though i doubt that she would say the same thing next month). heh. ooh don't get me wrong, i'm trying my best here. remember that i'm a lil forgetful? so that doesn't help much. i'm still coping with all the steps needed to be taken.

yesterday was a busy day for the company since it was the publication day(its an investment adviser company and they give advice through the weekly newsletter.) so everyone was busy..except for yours truly. since my senior couldn't guide me(or any other person for that matter) i was left with nothing to do. so i did a lil snooping about the company's operation. do you know that this company gives red packets of rm500 to the chinese staffs for the cny? i doubt that the malays get any packets for hari raya(even though there's only about 10% of us). not fair eyh? and then last month the despatch guy got married and was given rm4500 as a wedding gift..plus on fridays the company pays for our lunch since we're not allowed to go out due to the publication day. hurmm..

btw it's saturday morning and i'm already in the office. hooray!

this has got to be

2010-07-22T14:24:00.006+08:00

the worst day of my life..went lunch at the last 30 minutes,alone. suddenly it rained heavily. thought that i was smart enough to buy an umbrella, unfortunately that cheap umbrella went backwards when the wind blew. so now i'm all wet. and everybody else isn't in the office yet. heh

ps: since it's my 4th day here and i've got loads of free time, i decided to be brave enough to surf the internet

pps: thank goodness there's the hand dryer to dry myself off. unfortunately i cut my fingers during the struggle to get that damn umbrella steady =(

seriously?

2010-07-16T23:55:00.011+08:00

(pronounced like caroline forbes in vampire diaries or simply a typical bimbo)

received a phone call today. apparently i managed to sell myself off last saturday(i'm telling you, i sold very cheap one. heh). and so i'm finally hired! am i happy? i'm not sure. you see, this job requires working on saturday. i mean, seriously?

plus this job prohibits its staffs from using the cellphones during the office hours. of course that is normal but you practically have to put it away in a locker or something(i think) and you can't even use them on lunch breaks. i mean, seriously? so for friends out there, if you want to contact me, i'll only reply to you after five(or after i leave the company). apparently this company is a stock trading + asset management company hence they want to prevent any leakage of sensitive information. hurm..

and i would have to wear the baju kurung to work. apparently this is to maintain our professional appearances. i mean, seriously? since when does wearing a shirt and pants considered unprofessional? its either baju kurung or skirts. whatever. at least i don't have to worry about what to wear everyday. looks like i have to re-use all my college kurungs. just like during the diploma days. tsk tsk

and get this, i'm being offered my expected salary. i told you i was selling cheap right? hence i didn't ask for much, considering my qualification and zero experience. man, i should've tried my luck and asked for more. anyways i wanted this position because i wanted to avoid heavy workloads but i don't think that's an option since i'll be working on saturday<- still not satisfied. plus i had a few plans for the end of this year so i'm afraid if none of them would happen. oh well. i keep telling myself, beggars can't be choosers. just be glad with what you have. heh. ooh i forgot to mention. this company doesn't use any accounting software. i mean, seriously? apparently everything is done manually. man, i can just imagine the workload. and i was told that there are various transactions(obviously) and everything is recorded by hand. like hello?it's the 21st century la.. seriously i'm having negative thoughts about this job already. and i haven't started working yet. this is just bad. anyways, i finally completed watching the vampire diaries. honestly, damon salvatore wouldn't have to compel me to do anything for him. i'd do it voluntarily(gatal mode on!). maybe that's why i haven't met anyone as charming/hot as him in person. heh

mambo no. 5

2010-07-08T21:21:00.004+08:00

this song suddenly pops in my head. i used to lurrve this song(i told you before that i was lame right?)

anyways as i was browsing through the tupperware catalog(ooh i sound like a typical housewife) just then, it suddenly hit me that the fasting month is just around the corner. i wouldn't have noticed this fact if not because of the 'spirit of ramadhan' issue(although i was informed that most tailors have stop accepting any new orders since last week but i didn't see the connection back then). btw have you girls made your raya outfit(s)? i have. in fact us girls(sisters+mom) were so excited, we made ours in march.

ooh i've got news. i have a new hobby. and the hobby is applying for jobs. yupp. everyday i would look up for new ads or new firms to submit my application. i do it repeatedly more than thrice daily. sounds desperate eyh? oh don't get me wrong. that doesn't mean that i applied to all the firms that i stumbled upon. if that was the case, i wouldn't be stuck with only 1 interview, to date. heh

so the ecplise movie is out. it's been months since i tried to read the novel. but that's not something new i suppose. actually i was encouraged by a friend and my own interest in vampire+romance stuffs to get myself involved with the saga. it all started when i was 15/16 when i first read a vampire novel by L.J Smith. it was daughters of the darkness from the night world series. man i was soo involved in that novel that i memorized everything about it, up till now(even if i read it only once). so anyways i was delighted to know that the vampire diaries series are an adaptation from the same author. yup, i've only started to watch them recently, even if they've been in my laptop for months now(blame it on gossip girl and glee and of course the final exam). i find that they're interesting especially ian somerhalder (=.

note to self: the letter a in masb stands for accounting, not auditing. what an embarrassment. *sigh

where does the gravy fall if not on top of the rice

2010-07-05T09:37:00.004+08:00

had dinner with the family the other night. my mom brought along her friend and family from borneo. as i had very few stuffs to talk about(i was seated at the gents' side), i can't help but observe my mom who was chatting away animatedly(non stop) among the ladies. i guess now i know where i got the chatterbox behavior. heh. plus i overheard mom promoting stuffs to her friends. sounds familiar eyh..

anyways..

this lil kid turned 3 last wednesday

she made that pose all by herself.

ps: a lil dissapointed since both the teams that i'm supporting have lost their chances. so who do you think would win? i have a strong feeling it's either netherlands or germany. heh

waka waka wakakak

2010-06-29T14:27:00.009+08:00

went to tesco with the siblings(except for brother no 4 since apparently he's the only one working yesterday) to shop for stuffs for alanna's birthday party. i must say, i can't remember us all going to a supermarket together especially without the parents.

anyhoo i found out that there's a lot of stuffs in conjunction with the world cup season. yes i haven't been out much thank you very much. and of course there are contests too, which i participated one today. ooh by the way, i find that i'm more keen to join contests(but mostly those without slogans required) because a) i have a lot of free time b) i love anything free especially if it involves money and c) i'm encouraged by looking at my BIL(brother in law) who constantly wins contests. recently he won 2 nokia hand phones. there's a lot of stuffs that he won but the biggest "victory" i think was when he won rm20,000 cash. yupp, he's that lucky. so that's why i'm trying my luck.

ooh i forgot. bout the stuffs i found in tesco are such as stools of different flags, or chocolates in a plastic world cup thingy. there's also key chains and what not. okay maybe this is not new(i'm the one who's new to all these) but i don't quite believe that people would purchase these stuff. but then again maybe i'm wrong. of course there are people who are really fanatic about football and this event such as this man below.

Eggman-World Cup superfan

ooh it's the time of the month again where i tend to crave for sweet stuff. currently i'm dying to try making myself a cheesecake. i saw it in somebody's blog(in the picture it looked really tempting) and since it's easy to make, i decided to make one. however i'm still waiting to go buy the ingredients with mom since that'll mean that i don't have to fork out my own money(hey i'm poor remember?). this is also something new since i've never attempted to prepare a dish/meal from scratch aside from frying stuffs(eg instant chicken, veggies, etc). i guess being hormonally imbalanced makes me do stuffs i rarely do. heh

ooh btw something happened a few weeks ago but i totally forgot about it until last night. there's this girl whom i'm not really fond of. unfortunately we have the same group of friends so it's hard to avoid her. i know that we don't have anything in common but i tried to make things better but to no avail. for example i was making a joke to her but she practically ignored me(and didn't even pretend to laugh at my i-think-it's-funny but she's too boring to understand-joke). and she didn't respond to any of my small talks too. sheesh. i was just trying to make things easy for us. and then recently she said indirectly to me, nanti dah ambil banyak gambar tu jangan pulak tak upload. you see, i'm usually the one in the bunch with a camera. and i usually upload pictures that are clear and nice to see(after considering everybody's faces especially mine) and i don't like to upload the same pictures only with different angles because that's just a waste of my time. and apparently this girl holds a grudge for that. i say, if you want all your pictures to be uploaded then get/bring your own camera next time. it's a good thing that i've uploaded the pictures and thought that if i didn't bring the camera, nobody would. such a beach. hehe. but of course i didn't say out loud la.

but then again maybe that girl is not holding anything on me. maybe that's just her nature and she didn't mean to offend me. maybe it's her nature to be annoying ;p.

home alone

2010-06-26T15:34:00.007+08:00

living in a quite big family, it's really seldom to be left alone at home. but today, i am. the parents went out of town, the brothers went out, sister off to work and the other sister with her family aren't back from the hospital. my sister and lil alanna was admitted earlier this week, my sis for the swine flu whilst her daughter just a mere fever, thank God for that. i'm not keen on going out(spending money) because surprise surprise i don't have any money. there's a saying, no money no life. true say true say. in other words, kalau tak ada duit buat cara tak ada duit. heh

maybe some of you might be wondering what have i been up to since the final exam. well ..i've been busy. busy being the maid of the house, bibik. since lase(pronounced as luh-see) left for good a month ago, i have been taking over her job. i'm not complaining here, because at least there's something to do instead of just surfing the internet or watch the t.v(which i also do ;p).

the common question i receive currently is of course, bile nak keje? well, i'm still waiting for replies from my job applications. so in the meantime, i'm working as a bibik. tsk tsk. to think positively, i'd say to myself that i would like to return favors to my parents(membalas jasa ibu bapa) before entering the working life. heh.

ooh by the way, i surprised myself when i suddenly have an interest towards the world cup. i didn't think that i have it in me but it suddenly happened(part of it was because the channel was fixed every night). so now i'm supporting portugal and argentina. hehe.

duhai ayah

2010-06-20T23:23:00.004+08:00

berikutan dengan post ini, adil rasanya jika saya tujukan post buat ayah pula.

ayah saya seorang yang tegas. waktu kecil dulu, semua kawan saya takut nak datang bermain di rumah jika dia ada. ini kerana dia mempunyai raut wajah yang garang walaupun sebenarnya memang dia garang. ada kawan cakap, muka ayah seperti tipikal muka profesor. tapi sekarang setelah berusia lebih 60 tahun, raut wajah ayah dah bertukar menjadi lembut sedikit(walaupun masih garang).

walaupun begitu antara banyak-banyak anak, saya lah paling tak takut dengan dia(kata keluarga saya yang lain). ini mungkin kerana(saya tak cakap, mereka yang cakap) ayah selalu "favor" saya dari yang lain. so waktu kecil dulu ibu dan adik beradik lain selalu gunakan saya untuk mintak sesuatu. ye, saya telah diperalatkan. hehe. sebenarnya sehingga kini ibu saya menggunakan taktik itu, contohnya hari tu dia ajak ayah keluar makan di tesco. kononnya kesian kat saya, asyik terperuk kat rumah study padahal dia yang nak keluar berjalan. hehe ibu ibu.

ayah juga mempunyai prinsip-prinsip hidup yang tak ada sesiapa dapat sangkal. biasalah orang berzodiak aries kan "strong headed". tapi tak mengapa, sebab dia adalah ayah. dia juga mempunyai stail tersendiri seperti suka memakai baju batik. dia memakai batik hampir ke semua acara termasuk lah ke pasar. ye, ayah saya begitu. sama seperti bapak bapak lain di indonesia. di sana, penarik beca pun pakai batik. oh ya, ayah saya suka sangat negara itu dan budaya dan seni orang-orangnya. setiap tahun mesti nak pergi sana. ish ish. dan lagi satu kalau berjalan, ayah suka pakai topi beret. wah wah bergayanya dia.

oh lagi satu, dulu ayah pernah berlawak, katanya mungkin kehidupannya sebelum ini adalah seorang maharaja india. ini kerana dia sangat suka makan makanan india. hehe

oh saya baru tersedar yang saya tak ada gambar dengan ayah. seingat saya ada satu gambar saya dengan dia semasa saya bayi tapi malangnya kakak no 2 telah memotong kepala kami buat tujuan folio geografi tingkatan 2. isk isk.

saya tak pernah wish ayah selamat hari bapa kerana kata dia itu semua angkara kapitalis yang ingin menghabiskan duit kita semua. so there.

ps: bangga nak bagitau dunia, ayah saya pernah dedicate sebuah buku untuk saya. and the best part is i was the first in the family. hoyeah

pps: pernah terbaca yang hubungan kita dengan pasangan kita dicerminkan melalui hubungan kita dengan bapa kita. saya percaya pada itu.

pppps: oleh kerana spm dapat B3 sahaja, terpaksalah tunjuk bakat terpendam di sini. dulu masa spm tak berkesempatan. kesian.

show and tell

2010-06-20T12:35:00.007+08:00

another 2 of my schoolmates came from kuching this week. so of course there was a meet up. we watched the karate kid. all in all the movie was okay. although i felt sleepy during the training part but i was also excited towards the end part(ie during the fighting scenes). i must say, jaden will surely grow up as handsome as his daddy. however lets just hope that he doesn't get his mother's genes(height wise ;p).

the one in the in the middle is mush. she's actually one of the first few people who talked to me when i first transferred to mjsc kuching.

the other one is eda. she's getting married this november. i can still remember begging her(almost every week) to make a cover for my lab reports be it for chemistry or physics or even biology since her handwriting is so nice and neat. hehe

speaking of which, i also suddenly remember maxwell. i used to ask him to draw stuffs for biology. i remember begging him to draw me a kidney. and since he drew it so nicely and i didn't want to waste his effort, i decided to paste it on my desk and wrote a tittle 'ginjal saye'. hehe. those were the days. i was such a lazybump.

still haven't moved on

2010-06-13T16:52:00.002+08:00

i don't know why but most of my friends say that i like to promote stuff. it's usually about food or personal care products. for instance, during my stay in campus last week, i managed to convince a friend into buying dr mist. and i also found out that my other friend has changed her facial products to the same brand as mine. i don't know why but i'm glad when they listen to me. although there are also a few that just won't listen(actually i can only remember one, ie nadia). hehe. they say that i promote stuff as if being paid for commissions. but trust me, if that was the case, i'd be rich already ;). a friend also said that i should've done marketing course instead. hurm..

so now i'd like to extend my "promoting" to you. i know that ayam penyet has been a thing for some time but in my case, i've only started eating them recently. i don't know about its original taste and since this is the only place i tried, please excuse me if you've tasted better. however i'm still keen to promote this place. apparently it's the real thing from indonesia, even the workers are. they have branches all over indonesia and a few here.

you can see that the dish looks like a typical fried chicken. however the sambal is what makes it soo mouth watering. it is soo hot that my tummy aches right after taking the first bite. and yet you can't stop eating them. warning, don't ever drink carbonated drink while eating this dish or you'll end up in the toilet sooner than you think ;).

i miss these

2010-06-11T18:38:00.004+08:00

spent the last whole week in campus for the THE exam. i must say, i didn't realize till then of how much i've missed the campus life(even if i'm still a student). i miss all the goofing around, making silly jokes and laughing at each other. i miss all the chats we had(i didn't realize before that i haven't talked as much as when i'm at home). i miss singing together or making conversations during showers. i miss going out to find food together. i miss sitting together on the floor to have our meals. i miss people visiting the room, sometimes just to say hi or sometimes wanting to do business. i miss going out at 2 a.m to look for canned drink(air gedegang). i miss going to toilets together late at night.

gosh. i'm missing all the little things. it's true when people say that life as a student is the best part of your life. heh

on another note, i am officially free from the exam mode. whoppee! but then of course i sucked..he said, kali kedua buat pun tak boleh buat? ceh. and he also said that i should just apply for a permanent job as a bibik since that's the only thing that i'm good at (T_T). lets just say that i'm disappointed with myself, for the second time! but i'm too lazy to whine about yesterday or last tues. ooh and my father gave me the expected lecture the first thing when we met. it was about how you study and how you tackle the questions. haish

on another different note, i've received too many comments about my weight. i don't mind a bit actually(since i'm still underweight) but its frustrating when the weight increase tends to focus on one part only. and guess where that part is?

this song keeps playing in my mind-list ever since my friend told me about it. plus its the theme song for noktah buat erna(i vowed to watch all the episodes after watching one last night)..ooh and yes i can be jiwang at times. its seasonal actually.

puasa internet

2010-06-03T13:25:00.003+08:00

i promised myself not to waste any more time with surfing the internet. so i would like to wish everyone one of you, yes you who are taking the ACCA/CAT examination a big GOOD LUCK(coz you're going to need it, hehe kidding kidding).

i don't want to rant about my studies and how i'm dealing with it because that is just so boring. instead i would leave you with this clip(because the song keeps playing on my mind one morning). i used to memorize the lyrics. lame, i know.

ps: i don't know about some of you, but for me, each attempt be it the ACCA papers or the papers in my diploma days a song would keep playing on my mind while i'm answering the questions. the same song over and over again. usually the song would be the last one i heard before going for the exam.heh

heh

2010-05-26T01:00:00.007+08:00

how do you tell a person that you're not interested when you had already told that person about it? i feel like telling this person off but am afraid to jeopardize our friendship. this person just doesn't get my signals. heh

ooh its two weeks from the final exam yet i'm taking everything at my own pace. lets just hope that the pace that i'm going is adequate. heh

i have this super huge zit, i'm calling it the 'exam zit' since it appeared 2 weeks ago(the longest term in my zits history) and i don't think it would disappear any time soon because yesterday i decided to pinch it. hooray for me! heh

ps: nowadays my favorite words are adequate, sufficient, cost of equity and FCFE(free cash flow to equity)..it keeps on replaying in my head over and over again. heh

i really should start studying after this

2010-05-16T15:30:00.009+08:00

i've just watched this commercial today and laughed by myself. then suddenly i realized that it might not be that funny after all. i think that i tend to get humored easily over the simplest thing and not many feel the same way as i do. i couldn't give an example right now, because i forgot any of it. anyways i received a warning letter(tee hee) for my overdue monthly payment yesterday and on top of the letter was written,

Sabda Rasulullah S.A.W

Jiwa seorang mukmin tergantung dengan hutangnya sehinggalah dia menjelaskan hutangnya(Riwayat At-Tarmizi)

okay i get the point. then there is also a tag line,

TANPA PRASANGKA ' PERINGATAN PERTAMA

i find that these two are hilarious. i don't think anybody would give a damn about that if that person have decided that he/she doesn't want to pay. see what i mean? i know that some of you won't find this funny at all.

on another note, i'm still wondering the meaning/reason for a malay proverb,

Sayangkan anak tangan-tangankan, Sayangkan isteri tinggal-tinggalkan

i get the first part, but the second one??!

ps: why do people relate besday/bestday with birthday in birthday wishes?

last sunday

2010-05-11T15:12:00.005+08:00

my schoolmate came all the way from kuching. so we decided to meet and spend some time together. the last time i met adeq was in 2003 when i came with mira to collect our spm results. heh

there were 4 of us, and we talked and laughed just like the good old days, catching up(mengumpat) on people around us. it was such fun. my mouth felt numb from all the laughing and the talking.

ps: last time adeq once called ourselves 'geng 18' because there were 18 of us(duh). lawak. the boys think so too. in fact, he still makes fun about it.

ibu saya

2010-05-09T15:08:00.007+08:00

ibu saya seorang yang kelakar dan menghiburkan hati. die kelakar tanpa berusaha dan tanpa dia sedari. dia juga sering mencipta perkataan-perkataan baru seperti:

penge'ricecooker'
penyampai hati(bermaksud orang itu sanggup/sampai hati membuat sesuatu
degil bin dugul (orang yang super degil, selalu memberi gelaran itu kepada saya)

dan bermacam lagi tapi saya tak ingat.

kadang-kadang dia buat statement yang juga kelakar seperti,

habis tu ko ingat hajah ni malaikat?(kerana saya selalu menyoalkan kalau dia buat sesuatu di luar dugaan/ tidak berpatutan lalu saya pun berkata, ish ape la hajah ni buat macam tu)

dia juga mempunyai 'slang'/telor yang orang sini tak berapa familiar kerana asal usulnya dari sabah. so ramai orang fikir ibu saya orang indonesia. haha. sekarang alanna juga menggunakan sedikit telor sabah ibu seperti,

'alanna nak bikin something'

walaubagaimanapun kami tetap sayang ibu just the way that she is(anak mana tak sayang ibu kan?). so kerana itu saya ingin mengucapkan selamat hari ibu. tapi saya tau dia takkan baca ni kerana ibu saya juga seorang buta IT so post ini saya tujukan kepada semua kaum ibu di luar sana. again, SELAMAT HARI IBU.

saya dengan ibu di kala muda. waktu kecik ibu selalu geng dengan saya kalau abang-abang dan kakak-kakak saya buli saya. tengok tu, posing pun sama. kami berdua juga berzodiak taurus. taureans rules!

ibu dan anak-anaknya. tengok tu saya kecik-kecik agak poyo

ps: biasala gambar scan memang tak berapa nak terang

of being quarantined

2010-05-05T23:20:00.007+08:00

it's not me, don't worry. it's actually my eldest sis. she had just got the results today, confirming that she has the h1n1. so, upon getting the results she immediately informed the HR where she works. and look how it turned out:

funny. but i guess they're just being safe? anyways my sister is actually happy since she gets a week holiday(fyi she works 6 days a week). the doctor said that she should be fine by friday insyaAllah. being the good sister, i'm calling her the walking swine. hehe kidding kidding.

ps: looks like i'll be sleeping again in my parents' room this week

when i was young..

2010-05-03T14:29:00.006+08:00

ie before i reached puberty, i used to like watching romance type malay dramas. since all my other siblings are either at their boarding school or hostel colleges, i was left home alone during day time(my mom was working for her friend). and so watching romantic dramas was convenient for me because you can have all the concentration you need(no wonder i didn't get straight As for my UPSR).

one of my favorite drama is cinta korporat. that was way back in 1995 according to google. at that time rusdi ramli seemed like the handsomest guy and i had a huge crush for him(i told you i used to like older guys). also i liked the song sang by amy mastura. i still do actually. the song kept playing in my head recently hence the whole reason for this post. this song is also suitable for karaoke. and also for melayan perasaan.

however as i reached my teen years, i refused to watch romance based malay dramas, because at that time i felt that it was sooo uncool. i preferred dramas in other languages eg tagalog, thai, indonesian, japanese and of course korean. i still do actually. but now malay dramas have been included back to my list. adamaya is one of it.

ps: got myself a few crocs at the warehouse sale yesterday. the price was as low as rm30 - 40 for one original pair.

ulangkaji

2010-05-02T00:26:00.010+08:00

been a little busy with the revision class for AAA. during the classes i was stuck sitting behind THIS couple. i don't mind a bit if they were acting ordinary but unfortunately they weren't. it's annoying too see them fondling with each other when i was trying to concentrate(it's already hard enough to concentrate). imagine the sight of them holding hands, sometimes touching the guy's chin or the girl's hair. trust me, there isn't the slightest jealousy to these. i think there's a limit to PDA before you start making other people vomit. all this while i thought that i was the only one who was annoyed, but then yesterday i found out from my friend, who was unlucky enough to sit next to the guy(our seats are fixed) that he too couldn't stand the sight. the best thing was, during the last class yesterday, the girl suddenly said, "do you want me to pinch you?" (with the sweetest voice she could make while batting her eyelashes) because the guy was sleepy i presume. am and i suddenly made eye contact and wanted to burst ourselves out. ha ha. some people can be soo funny. ooh i forgot to mention that the guy was kinda geeky so the whole thing was funnier.

and then there was this cute guy whom i think is of a mix parentage. every time when i was bored, i'd sure turn my head behind where he was siting and just looked at him. i'm not sure if other people noticed what i was doing, but i was bored most of the time so i hope wasn't being too obvious. tee hee.

this reminds me of my younger days in high school where my taste in boys are in those of different race. i don't know the reason but what i know is that none of the malay boys attracted me at that time. way back when i was younger(i started having crushes when i was 6 btw) i preferred older men instead of boys at my age. i think that's normal huh? at that time the boys at my age were just disgusting and annoying at the same time. and then in my late teen years, i preferred guys at my age or older(never younger) having the same interests as mine.

those were the days..

ps: somebody in class thought that i looked 2o or 21.. ;p

hear ye hear ye

2010-04-27T01:18:00.004+08:00

i've just found out recently that ACCA Malaysia (and any other country besides the UK) will no longer hold any graduation ceremony for its graduates starting this year. how could they? apparently they've been urged by the ACCA UK itself. according to them it is a waste of time and money as not all students from outside UK are willing to attend the ceremony because of its expensive costs. but..but..that's not fair! well i've got a suggestion, why don't you lower the costs?

i came to know about this matter from a lecturer in orange. according to him, all ACCA tuition providers have been informed and he urged us all to make our vote in the myacca. the thing is i still can't find any evidence about the matter on the net. maybe its still too early and they haven't updated the website(that is so typical). anyways the other day, i asked my friend(who have recently completed his ACCA) about the ceremony and he said that nobody from the ACCA Malaysia have contacted him. so i guess this situation might be true after all.

and if this goes on, you will only receive your certificate through the post.
what a bummer!

ps: tak dapat lah berangan nak letak profile picture pegang sijil ACCA )=

pps: a long time ago, a lecturer once said that ACCA is only for those who can afford it. at that time i would have disagreed with her, but now come to think of it maybe she's right after all. ACCA memang cekik darah. dah la exam fees naik 2 pounds each semester. heh

im old

2010-04-25T10:47:00.009+08:00

it is 25th day of the month, and i am celebrating my 25th birthday. yupp, i'm a quarter of a century today. sounds soo old huh?

so last night a friend of mine asked me about my plans and my answers were:

within 1 year: to complete the course(duh!) and to start my career(double duh!)

within 3 years: get married (da gatal da)

within 5 years: probably having a child(masih gatal lagi)

but of course kita hanya merancang, Tuhan yang menentukan.

then later i found a birthday card from my eldest sis. it says something like this;

happy birthday sister. even if you're a year older, you will always be my baby sister.

awww so sweet. terus janji tak nak gaduh-gaduh dengan dia lagi ;p

ps: had a great time with fellow friends last night.

my rusty brain

2010-04-23T13:59:00.003+08:00

i find that nowadays i lack of ideas for any post for this blog. the reason is simple, my brain has gone rusty from its lack of usage. this is proven yesterday when i failed to complete the IQ test for company D. the questions are tricky but manageable and i saw that everyone managed to complete all 40 questions within 15 minutes. as for myself, i only answered half of it because it took me too long to answer some of the questions..

and that is why i'm still wondering why 3 hours later, the lady called me again saying that i passed the first assessment and was invited for the second one next week.

ps: my application was way back in december, when i was still eager to look for a job. didn't expect them to take 4 months to reply. heh

pps: somebody's birthday is around the corner.

the little duck

2010-04-17T19:25:00.007+08:00

there were 3 ducklings who live near the pond. they were triplets but each of them had different sizes. the littlest was always pampered by the mum, because of its size. everyday all 3 ducklings would play under the sun until it was time to sleep.

it was normal for these 3 ducklings to quarrel every now and then. but they always make peace before going to bed. however this little duck always felt different from the others. it knows that the other 2 look down on her for her littleness. also they both tend to disregard her opinions or feelings, stating that since she's the way that she is she would know nothing about the world.

sometimes this little duck would stand up to both of them when she knows that she's right. whenever she does this, they would say that she didn't respect them, being the littlest of them all. and even if it is proven so, the other 2 would brush her off easily. sometimes they would say that this little duck is ungrateful because they usually help her find food. but what they don't understand is that sometimes she just want to be heard, to be respected like both of them.

END

i'm ovulating again

2010-04-17T18:51:00.013+08:00

okay i sound like one of those women who want to get themselves pregnant. nope that's not the case.

its the time of the month where the hormones starts to go crrazy. just this morning i watched how to train your dragon(from my lappy<-oh sounds so gedix) which i downloaded myself now that i'm addicted to pirating. heh. every now and then i 'd feel a little lump forming in the throat. silly huh? eg i felt like crying when hiccup's dad disowned him and when toothless was bonding with hiccup. man this hormone issue is getting wilder by the days. by the way i met my friend last thursday who had just got back from UK. we haven't met since 5 years ago. she's also currently doing her ACCA and surprisingly according to her the exams were easy peasy. she blamed her work for not passing all the papers at first attempt. i was shocked as i've never heard anyone saying this before and perhaps she was right. it's all about the exam techniques. hurm. but my friends and i have a theory that the examiner for the UK candidates is more lenient as compared to the international ones. sounds like we're in denial huh?

ps: also met the brother izuan. and he asked whether i've completed my studies. what a slap in the face.

pps: i don't know why, but i cant get the word dadipandi off my mind. what is that?

jenisan manusia

2010-04-09T21:05:00.012+08:00

it is true that there are different types of people with different kinds of attitudes. but for now, i'm just going to focus on one: the one that looks closely at you and suddenly makes a remark on the discovery he/she had just found out on your physical looks. ever encounter with this type of people?

i think they're annoying especially if the remark(s) was made in front of everybody, noting something weird/off about your physical looks. its as if that person is happy to find your flaws and happy to tell the world about it. i know that sometimes these people don't mean to hurt anybody but i think somebody should tell them its annoying and also rude to comment about others' looks without any good reason. sometimes the comment comes suddenly during a conversation. eg: hey, your front left tooth is bigger than the right tooth! or hey you shaved your legs! what's the purpose of these comments?

truthfully, i never liked people who criticize on other people's looks. to me, its like you're laughing at God's creation when you make fun of somebody's imperfection. yes, i know that i myself sometimes make fun of my friends(but only as a joke, not to humiliate them) but i would never touch about their physical looks because i know that it is a sensitive area which everybody should know about.

its okay if you make comments with the intention to help or compliment or advise eg: i think you should go to the toilet because there's toilet paper sticking out of your back or there's something stuck between your teeth. but don't do it just for the sake of doing it because that other person might feel embarrassed or hurt especially when it is done in front of many people.

unfortunately i have a few friends of these kind. hehe. my advice? don't let these people stare at you for a long time if you don't want to receive any uninvited comments. or you can give back a comment about their looks to make it even ;). kalau nak dapat pahala, abaikan dan terima hakikat yang memang ada manusia jenisan ni.

ps: its okay to be observant. just know that some things should not be shared.

got a secret

2010-04-04T22:15:00.011+08:00

it hurts me to know that she's treating you badly. if only she sees the way you look at her, then she'll understand. knowing this just twitches the heart.

ps: bumped into an old classmate today. haven't met her for 13 years! then suddenly her dad took out his phone and took a picture of us. heh

pps: mengapakah perlu update status setiap minit?

oh my sammy!

2010-04-02T14:27:00.007+08:00

i enjoyed watching him yesterday. at least this time i didn't fall asleep during the movie. i was watching alone(kesian) while waiting for my class in the evening. didn't know that a lot of working people were also there, during office hours. dasar curi tulang. apparently its normal. heh.

anyways the movie was sort of like lotr for me. in this i meant the journey it took them. and i liked that pretty lady, Io(pronounced as uh-yo). at first i thought that she was the same person in the cave of the golden roses(as fantaghiro, anybody recall this series?) but then again i was wrong of course. she was actually the lady bond slept with in quantum of solace. no wonder she looked familliar.

the movie had a lot of familiar names such as pegasus(kuda barbie, wani tau tak?), andromeda(the name of the main character in my sister's keeper), medusa( my sister used to call me this, not because of her beauty though), kraken(if i'm not mistaken it was also the name of the octopus monster in pirates of the carribean 2). of course all these names have existed a long time ago but i can't help linking them while watching the movie.

so that's it. at least i felt better watching this compared to alice in wonderland. apparently my sister also fell asleep while watching that movie(during office hours jugak!) so i'm not the only one.

ps: although i haven't met any greeks, i don't think sam looks like one. heh

pps: its been some time since i last watch a movie alone.

oh man!

2010-03-31T00:57:00.006+08:00

i'm soo pissed at someone right now. its making me frown up till now. and its not making me happy coz frowning is just bad for your face. imagine being asleep and suddenly being bombarded with insulting accusations. its like waking up a peacefully sleeping dragon.

its very seldom to see me getting pissed(besides during my pms of course) because i believe that i am quite a patient person and tend to keep everything to myself. but i guess this person wanted to test my patience. and what did i do in return? nothing. that's why i'm still frowning. its not that i didn't want to respond, its just that my brain is so slow to think up an immediate response. only after a few moments could i think of something, but by that time its too late. ooh i'm pissed at myself too.

anyways i forgot to mention that i have 2 friends(probably more) who didn't know that alice in wonderland is from a novel. i read the novel when i was eleven. i always thought that its general knowledge, coming from a person who has a very minimal G.K herself. i thought that its the typical character that you grow up with, just like snow white or cinderella. but then again i guess its acceptable, as not everybody have the same exposure when they grew up. i bet there are some malay folk tales that i don't have a clue about. but then again, you shouldn't expect much from yours truly, as mentioned earlier.

by the way listening/singing to a song(s) is really therapeutic don't you think? i feel better now that i'm listening to some soothing tunes. i have a friend who listens to japanese songs. i asked her if she understands the lyrics but she didn't. she just liked the melody. she said that it helps especially when you're sad, at least you won't feel worse listening to the lyrics. make sense huh?

ps: alanna is going to have a younger sibling this december. yeay!

the other day

2010-03-27T11:34:00.007+08:00

i was watching the tenth circle the other day. it was an adaptation from jodi picoult's novel. as usual the ending was unexpected and the one thing that i always liked about jodi picoult is that she centralizes on family affairs apart from having that unexpected plot. however i learned that the movie didn't follow the book, as usual. another one that i've recently watched was my sister's keeper. i really enjoyed the book and although the movie too left a lot of bits and pieces that have made the story touching, i still felt sad after watching it. probably because i was on my pms back then. heh.

the other day there was a school trip for some primary school. i bumped into a bunch of them in the klcc's surau. i must say, i felt challenged(tercabar) noticing that some of them either have the same height or higher than mine. haish budak-budak zaman sekarang semuanya besar-besar, i said to myself.

ooh and the fact that i am now staying at home doing nothing gives me the opportunity to memorize all the daily dramas on air. feels like the time before i went to boarding school, where i'll get upset if i miss one of the episodes of the drama i'm following. kesian. but at least i have something to look forward each day. haha. i've become like a typical housewife. one of the dramas i'm currently watching is na o mei. i find that the plot is similar to typical tagalog dramas(yes i watch them too). the other day i concluded that everyone at the table (there were 5 of them) were actually siblings but with either a different father/mother. i just watch the drama because of the theme song and adi putra and because alanna is usually still sleeping at that time(again i sound like a housewife).

ps: wani i've finally figured out how to download movies..

pps: my lecturer has fake accents but its likeable. i can't help from copying him. its funny.

semalam yang hangat

2010-03-17T11:14:00.010+08:00

ooh can't believe this trailer is malaysian made. looks cool huh? leave it to kru to make cool CGIs. i think they're very creative plus very rich hence could afford the costs of such effort. on another note, i just found out about hotel mania last night. this is also one of kru productions. i must say it is a good attempt as this is the first malaysian musical drama, although for me the story line and acting needs a lil brushing up ;)

then later last night, i suddenly had the urge to look at souvenirs for..

its lily-shaped candles! i plan to give these during my wedding.. haha. this is what happen when you have too much free time. i need to find a new hobby pronto!

anyways part of the above was due to my inability to concentrate on my revision(wah da lame tak guna this word). it was the first time that i couldn't study because of being too stressed out(more like pissed). usually i can just brush the feeling effortlessly.

ps: i didn't know that anding can sing pretty well

pps: last night i was suddenly emotional and thought of renting a house once i start working. the last time i thought of running from home was when i was six. blame it on all the dramas back then.

ppps: suddenly most of my high school guy friends who used to act oh so macho have become mamat jiwang. lawak

my phone was stolen yesterday

2010-03-15T16:26:00.011+08:00

i went to watch his performance last saturday..all i can say is that he's really gorgeous. i know that this may sound corny, but i really felt like smiling whenever he smiled. and i did! and his performance was good too although he had some off keys towards the end of the show..according to my sis he was sick and also too tired from all the rehearsals and shows. and..although some might say that his sex orientation is questionable but trust me, he's straight as an arrow.

if you look closely you may notice that my face was extra oily..partly because i was too excited standing close to him. you can just see from the expression.

on the same day, this aurora-fanatic-kid went to the disney on ice. too bad there weren't much of the disney princesses.

ps: 2 of my friends got married last weekend and another one got engaged.

pps: is losing the phone a sign to get the iphone for my birthday?

macam best

2010-03-12T20:01:00.007+08:00

ps: soothing kan..

pps: i just found out that some of my friends have become mommies..tak sangka