tomorrow

there's a mixture of feelings as the day gets closer. one minute she is excited and another minute she feels sad. this is the first time after so long. but then again, there is always a first to everything. all the memories suddenly keep rushing back uninvited. she wonders why she still has this feeling and tries to brush it off but to no avail.

she wanted to tell somebody but she couldn't. she no longer wants to burden anyone else. all she feels now is loneliness. she tries to be happy for tomorrow and is still trying. but the feeling is so overwhelming that she finds herself close to tears every few minutes. she knows that what she is facing at the moment is nothing compared to what the others may face, she keeps telling that to herself but her heart just won't listen.

sometimes she feels hurt by the others but nothing can compare to this, which actually what makes her stronger. there was once when somebody asked her how she feels like to achieve what she had achieved so far, and her answer was: sad. sad that everything turned out differently. sad that when she finally achieved something, nobody was there to be proud of her.

c'est la vie